This is it folks, the last Ranked (+ thoughts) I’m doing. This really made me keep up with all of my shows every week, which can be exhausting, and sometimes it’s just not fun to rank all of your shows every single week when a lot of them are very quite good (or many are just meh and not worth the effort to rank). This must be how people who like kids feel when they say they can’t pick a favorite child.
1. Boardwalk Empire (HBO) Series finale
Deserves to be #1 this week, not just because of sentimentality that it was the last episode, but because it was a beautiful series finale that capped off a superb final season to a show I’ve merely liked, not loved (also Good Wife & Homeland had decent-not-home-run-episodes).
2. The Good Wife (CBS)
3. Homeland (Showtime)
3½. The Affair (Showtime)
5. Kingdom (Audience Network/DirecTV)
Has the ingredients in place for a truly captivating series, and it nails it often enough to keep me interested (Jay and his junkie prostitute mother are the most interesting parts of this show), it just needs all the other parts to fall into place)
6. Sleepy Hollow (Fox)
7. Constantine (NBC)
Proving to be fun, and this episode was a decent amount of scary (for regular people: not very)
8. The Goldbergs (ABC)
Has really become solid
8. A to Z (NBC)
So far into this season, A to Z has pretty much won me over and is probably the show I like the most amongst the crop of new fall shows. Too bad it got cancelled. Won’t even make it to the end of the alphabet
10. Modern Family (ABC)
Cam & Mitch, meh
11. Black-ish (ABC)
Another surprisingly decent episode
12. Gotham (Fox)
13. South Park (Comedy Central)
14. Jane the Virgin (CW)
14. Marry Me (NBC)
16. Sons of Anarchy (FX)
16. The Flash (CW)
That scene with The Flash zipping in and out of the crashing train rescuing people were cool. But this is practically my tipping point with the show. I just don’t care anymore with its requisite 1 groan-worthy line of dialogue per episode and over meh< writing. I’ll probably slog through the show through the next 1-2 months (as background noise) but this episode was the point where I ran out of all my fucks to give.
16. Downton Abbey (ITV)
16½. Gracepoint (Fox)
Tag Archives: television shows
Brief Thoughts on Week 5 of the Fall Television Season
Shut up, just take me to the rankings
Jane the Virgin (CW) & Marry Me (NBC): 2 shows that I borderline effusively praised last week, not as good the second time around.
Cristela (ABC) Episode 3: While it still works within the confines of a multi-cam, laugh-track-plagued comedy, with plenty of signs of the weaknesses of that format (stilted writing here and there), star & creator Cristela Alonzo is likable in spades and this is easily a step above the normal multi-cam, laugh-track show. It’s pretty damn likable and not terrible as a background noise show.
Black-ish (ABC) Episode 5: Easily its strongest episode yet, dare I say, an episode that actually crossed the threshold into being able to be called decent? Tracee Ellis Ross (the wife) is the best thing about this show and they might’ve caught on to that as she spends almost as much time on-screen as (the far less good and far more annoying) Anthony Anderson. Also in the mix are the 4 kids in 1 plot that filled up the whole episode and involved all of them. I was all ready to dump this show, but I may have to keep it around just a little longer…but still as background noise.
Kingdom (Audience Network/DirecTV) Episode 3: The junkie prostitute. It’s a borderline clichéd character but within the first 3 minutes I was captivated and intrigued by just that type of character. A growth from the prior episode, Kingdom is proving itself to be a from-left-field, surprisingly solid treat from an obscure channel (similar to The Knick). If you liked the movies The Fighter (that boxing movie with Christian Bale, Mark Wahlberg, and Melisso Leo), Warrior (another solid family-drama/fighting movie released after The Fighter that flew under the radar), or even The Wrestler (Mickey Rourke), this show is for you.
Jonathon Tucker, whom I have enjoyed in The Black Donnellys and guest role in Hannibal, is also terrific here. I’m most intrigued in his character and his mother’s (the junkie prostitute) plotlines out of everyone’s.
Is it perfect? No. Is it great? Too soon to tell, I lean towards not yet. It simmers rather than boils and at times that strays into boring territory. Still, quite good. And more importantly, a show I look forward to watching every Wednesday. Also good is Matt Lauria (Friday Night Lights).
The Flash (CW) Episode 3: Meh. I officially don’t care about this show anymore. It’s not bad, it’s just not very engaging or riveting with its baddie-of-the-week format. I’ll keep watching this as background noise but probably for no longer than half a season (hey I gave Arrow half a season and fuck it was awful. The dialogue made my sphincter bleed).
Quick thoughts about this episode:
-Grant Gustin continuing to prove why he was cast in the lead
-That glum look on his face when Iris calls him “the cutest nerd she knows”
-When he’s “talking to someone” on his phone, it’s clearly the home screen of the Samsung Galaxy. Silly gooses
-I want to see them incorporating eating into Barry’s every scene. Y’know, ’cause his metabolism’s super fast and all. Just him always with a bar of chocolate or plate of spaghetti in his hand, would work well humorously.
-Flashbacks were interesting
-“The gas didn’t just come in by itself.”
“UNLESS IT HAD A MIND OF ITS OWN” What a dumbshit thing to say aloud. Yo, not everybody knows you’re the Flash and that there’s ‘metahuman’ creatures running around. Keep that on the DL so you don’t get thrown into an insane asylum, idiot.
All in all, a run-of-the-mill superhero show that I am not invested in.
Constantine (NBC) Episode 1: The last new show of the fall television season to watch. It received decidedly mixed reviews so I didn’t have high expectations going in, and you know what? I actually kind of enjoyed it. I certainly wouldn’t label it bad. It was briskly paced, had some legitimately scary moments in the first half of the episode, and it was quite a bit of fun actually. The closest thing I’d compare it to is Sleepy Hollow, but, its early days yet, so we’ll see how this show goes.
A to Z (NBC) Episode 4: I’m starting to fall for this romantic comedy. First 2 eps, eh, but it’s landed 2 episodes in a row that managed to be sweet without sappy, and humorous without wringing the life out of every joke or punchline. It’s also managed to give the 2 lead and 2 supporting characters some depth while using 2 background characters to good effect (and the blond bitch boss is still a hoot). This show has been struggling in the ratings (though not that far off from its lead-in Bad Judge), so I’m not holding my breath that this show will be able to traverse to the end of the alphabet (each episode is named after a letter).
Returning Shows
Sleepy Hollow (Fox): This may have been the first episode that wasn’t connected to/meant to push forward the main plot, and you know what, it was actually a lot of fun, and made good use of Katrina. I wasn’t really sure what they were gonna do with her other being a prisoner of the Headless Horseman and use some magic shit whenever they needed her to, but this episode added more dimension and history to her independent of her relationship with Crane. Also, I strongly suspect that the Headless Horseman may end up, at some point in time, fighting alongside Crane & Co., most likely at the end of this season at the earliest. His feelings for Katrina might make him turn against Henry.
Downton Abbey (ITV): Warning for all the U.S. Downton Abbey fans, they should just rename season 5 season 4b as this season has just been exhaustingly rehashing the same old tired plotlines from season 4, adding very little (or nothing). This show needs new blood, new characters. It feels staid and boring down, it’s mediocre to the point of being bad. The first couple of Downton Abbey seasons felt like the British period drama that was accessible to those who didn’t like British period dramas. This season feels like it’s every cliché and stereotype people have about British period dramas. Goddamn, Lady Edith is mopey and shit, which is usually amusing but (SPOILER ALERT) watching her visit and creep on the same damn farm house to stalk her daughter while the lady of the farm house hates on her is TIRING. AS. SHIT.(END SPOILER ALERT).
Ranked, Week 5: All Scripted Shows I Watched Oct. 19-25
The penultimate week and the last week with a new show (Constantine, NBC)! Next week will be my last one doing these ’cause they take a shit-ton of time, then at some point in November (probably towards the latter end of November Sweeps) I’ll look over all the fall television shows I planned to watch before the TV season started, see what worked and what didn’t for the networks quality-wise and commercially.
To see how the shows rose or fell in past weeks’ rankers:
Week 4
Week 3
Week 2
Week 1
Post with more in-depth thoughts on the shows here (I kept them fairly brief this week).
1. The Good Wife (CBS)
1½. Homeland (Showtime) Oh man…I think Good Wife edged out Homeland this week, but I’m not ready to downgrade it all the way down to #2 quite yet. SHIT IS INTENSE.
3. Boardwalk Empire (HBO) The next-to-last episode of Boardwalk Empire keeps up the pace of the high-body count in a shortened, more briskly-paced season.
3. The Affair (Showtime)
5. Kingdom (Audience Network/DirecTV)
5. Brooklyn Nine-Nine (Fox)
7. Modern Family (ABC)
8. A to Z (NBC)
9. Sleepy Hollow (Fox)
10. The Goldbergs (ABC)
11. Constantine (NBC)
12. Black-ish (ABC)
12. Sons of Anarchy (FX)
14. Marry Me (NBC)
14. Selfie (ABC)
16. Cristela (ABC)
17. The Flash (CW)
18. Jane the Virgin (CW)
19. Downton Abbey (ITV)
19. Gracepoint (Fox)
21. Gotham (Fox)
22. Mulaney (Fox)
poor Fox…
Downgraded to Background Noise Status: The Flash
Was sure I was gonna dump Selfie & Black-ish after this week, but both had pretty good episodes. We’ll see.
Also, A to Z has had 2 solid episodes in a row.
Ranked, Week 4: All Scripted Shows I Watched Oct. 12-18
New shows join the fray and some will have their last week in the ranker as I dump a ton of shitty shows after exercising far more patience than any of them deserved. While Constantine premieres Oct. 24 on NBC, these rankings & ramblings take too much time so Oct. 26-Nov. 1 will be the last week for them. More in-depth thoughts/ramblings on some of the shows here.
Onwards to the rankings!
Week 3
Week 2
Week 1
1. The Good Wife (CBS)
1. Homeland (Showtime)
3. Brooklyn Nine-Nine (Fox)
4. The Knick (Cinemax) season finale
4½. The Affair (Showtime) series premiere
6. Boardwalk Empire (HBO)
6. Marry Me (NBC) series premiere
8. Kingdom (Audience Network aka DirecTV)
8. Jane the Virgin (CW) series premiere
10. A to Z (NBC)
11. Doctor Who (BBC)
11. Sleepy Hollow (Fox)
13. The Flash (CW)
13. South Park (Comedy Central)
15. Sons of Anarchy (FX)
15. Downton Abbey (ITV)
17. Gracepoint (Fox)
17. The Mindy Project (Fox)
18. Selfie (ABC)
19. Mulaney (Fox)
20. Bad Judge (NBC)
20. How to Get Away with Murder (ABC)
Dumped: How to Get Away with Murder, Bad Judge
Thoughts on Week 4 of the Fall Television Season
Jane the Virgin (CW) Episode 1: I only checked out this show because of the great buzz it has been receiving since it was first unveiled to critics, reporters and ad buyers during Upfronts a few months back. While it didn’t quite meet the expectations set by the glowing reviews it received, it is head and shoulders above the rest of the new broadcast shows, easily the best new network show of the fall. Don’t be put off by the ludicrous premise (don’t even read it), this show is fresh, charming, and likable. It may be the only new network fall show I keep up with for the rest of the season
Marry Me (NBC) Episode 1: I came into this with tempered expectations due to lukewarm reviews. Oh man, this just might be my favorite new broadcast comedy of the fall season, and most likely the only one I keep up with beyond 3 episodes. Is it the funniest? Nah. Laugh-a-minute joke rate? Nope. But with its winning cast, Marry Me is likable and enjoyable in spades. I liked it more than I laughed, but there were plenty of jokes that landed. Really, really likable.
The Flash (CW) Episode 2: Just a some quick thoughts:
-Bart, you’ve got a point but stop saying the words ‘you’re not my father!’ to the man who raised you! You bag of dismembered dicks!
-One of my previous complaints about the show was that Flash would need to eat a lot in order to be able to run 300 mph multiple times a day. Annnnd they addressed that. Well done. I think a little more than a ‘super special’ protein bar will do it though (this some Michael Phelps 5000 calories-a-day shit)
-Called this was a clone episode the moment he said the 6 shoe sizes were identical
-Okay, just because he can run super fast doesn’t mean he can maneuver hallways and turns quickly. Also when he’s conversing with Iris in super-speed, it would still eat up a lot of time, even if he’s talking super fast /nitpick
-I still like Iris and the chemistry between her and Barry
-“That’s pretty ironic, the guy who specialized in cloning and now he can make Xeroxes of himself” THAT’S. NOT. FUCKING. IRONY. /grammarnazi
-The scene between child Barry and his jailed father 😦
-When jailed father grabs child Barry I was waiting for the security guard to go “NO TOUCHING!”
-Wheelchair dude’s hella mysterious
-In the climax office fight, that one image of the silhouette of the hand wielding the gun then you see the actual hand holding the gun move from the glass, nice camera shot
-“REMEMBER BARRY YOU NEED TO ISOLATE THE PRIME”
“You need to isolate the prime” Easier said than done muthafuckas
“Nothing’s impossible Barry. You taught me that.” cringe-line of the episode
-When black guy brought the pizzas and turned around to look at the chalkboard with photos, I was expecting that when he turned around again Bart would’ve already finished the whole pizza and been all like “oh…did you want some?” MISSED OPPORTUNITY
-Not a fan of the voiceovers, beginning one was fun but the end voiceover was pretty lame.
-Iris looking into The Flash, meh. Inevitably they’ll be some close calls between her and Barry and he’ll act all innocent and unknowing when she asks for his help. Prettty predictable where and how that’ll play out.
All in all, still in the positive side, I’ve never really liked a superhero TV show before so this is one of the better ones for me, still, far from a slam dunk, rough around the edges and still plenty of meh-worthy things about it. Will probably be downgraded to background-noise status
A to Z (NBC) Episode 3: I watched the 1st episode over the summer when it was available for early preview and felt pretty meh about it, but saw something in it that was good enough to give it a couple more tries. Episode 2 was alright but I liked episode 3 the most of the bunch. It’s a romantic comedy that hardly ever gets too sappy or too cutesy for its own good. It’s got a likable cast, especially with the high-strung blonde boss. As I kick the other insufferable comedies to the curb, I’ll probably keep this one around for background noise viewing.
Selfie (ABC) Episode 3: Actually an improvement, it’s borderline-tolerable now. Karen Gillan nails it.
How to Get Away with Murder (ABC) Episode 4:
-Thinking this is a repeat at the beginning of every episode ugh
-Gay douchebag character boning everything in sight at all times always forever ugh
-Stupid dialogue for 1-dimensional unoriginal student characters ugggh
-Overly-dramatic dialogue as realistic as Pamela Anderson’s tatas are real uggggh
-Did I mention how fucking annoying gay douchebag character is
-Viola Davis super-dramatically removing her jewelry, wig, and makeup to ULTRA-Dramatic music UGGGGGGGGGGGGGGH
-“Why is your penis on a dead girl’s phone?” LOLOLOLOLOL The most hilarious unintentionally funny line of dialogue, and the hardest I’ve ever laughed at such a line. SO. BAD. Why Viola Davis. why. This is straight-up some Soup shit.
I rolled my eyes so many times during this episode I thought this’d be like that episode of 30 Rock where Liz Lemon’s eyes got stuck mid-eye roll:
The music ain’t bad, if placed and used not-great-ly. Last week they used music from one of my favorite under-the-radar Brit bands, Fenech-Soler and I’m pretty sure this week’s ep cribbed music from the soundtrack of the super-awesome supernatural French series Les Revenants from the band Mogwai/
This show is finally getting dumped and off my watch list. Finally.
Mulaney (FOX) Episode 2: Oh Mulaney.
Seinfeld started out with poor reviews for its first 1.5 seasons and also low ratings (for that time).
Before Louis C.K. created the critically-acclaimed Louie, he made Lucky Louie, the 1-season HBO show that received mixed reviews.
That’s to say, even things/people that become beloved and well-respected make a (couple of) shitter(s) first. Mulaney is one of those shitters.
Returning Shows
Downton Abbey (ITV) Episode 5: Sad to say, but this show has gotten pretty damn stale this season, just re-hashing the same old plotlines from season 4
Boardwalk Empire (HBO) Episode 6: This is how you do a final season, by killing off every other major character.
Sons of Anarchy (FX) Episode 6: Conversely, this is not how you do a final season. As a fan of Sons of Anarchy, I’m enjoying this final season. It’s not great however, far from.
Modern Family (ABC) S6 Episode 4: Still don’t like Cam and Mitch’s storylines. And Cam just neglecting his daughter’s potential bullying when he frets about himself. Yeah, yeah, it’s a comedy and was played for comedic effect, but still. That scene would’ve been 500x better if Lily just deadpans ‘so I putting itching powder in their combs and they never messed with me again.’
The Mindy Project (Fox) Ep 5: More Peter-Dr. Jeremy Reed plotlines please. Also more Dr. Reed doing a bro-tastic American accent.
Thoughts on Week 3 of the Fall Television Season
Week 1
Week 2
Black-ish (ABC) Episode 3: An improvement on its first 2 episodes that merely got eh out of me. Granted I was only half-paying attention to the episode since it was downgraded to a background-noise status show. Tracee Ellis Ross (Anthony Anderson’s wife character, the doctor) was and remains the best thing about this show.
Mulaney (Fox) Episode 1: I came into this with extremely depressed expectations given the exceedingly poor reviews it received and that it’s a FUCKING MULTI-CAM SHOW WITH A GOTDANG LAUGH TRACK IN FUCKING 2014. Still, the best of Mulaney (a former SNL writer who co-created Bill Hader’s Stefon character) shone through in bits and pieces, and he’s a likeable enough guy. I also like Nasim Pedrad (another recent SNL alumnus) in a role that could’ve been very bad in the hands of someone else. Most everyone else is pretty forgettable. I don’t know how long I’ll stick around for this (or how long it’ll stay on air given the miserable ratings for its first episode, even by Fox’s standards), but it hovers on the threshold of being tolerable.
Selfie (ABC) Episode 2: I’d already watched the pilot episode back when it was released as an early preview during the summer, hence its exclusion in last week’s rankings. In this episode, they had a plotline where one of the main characters started using facebook and got addicted to it. He even accidentally tags himself in a photo and he, keeping in mind the character is suppose to be a successful, intelligent executive of some sort, can’t fucking figure out how to untag himself. Oh ffs. I’ll keep this show around for just one more episode as background noise. You see what I’m willing to do for ya Karen Gillan?
Gotham (Fox) Episode 3: If they would change the direction of the show and renamed it PENGUIN, I’d be 300% more interested in the show.
The Flash (CW) Episode 1: I’ve previously summarized my thoughts on the first episode here. Holy shit at its ratings though, highest-rated series premiere on the CW in 5 years. Beat out the shows airing opposite it on Fox (a repeat of Family Guy) and ABC. Beat the ratings (in both the demo AND total viewers) of ABC’s Agents of SHIELD. Shiiiiii.
TL;DR-version of the post: not bad, but still has CW-y problems that might grow into dealbreakers. Casting is on point for Grant Gustin
Bad Judge (NBC) Episode 2: Kate Walsh is great. And she is trying her damndest in this show that is utterly devoid of humor.
Kingdom (Audience Network aka DirecTV) Episode 1: Audience Network is a television network available to DirecTV customers, previously known as The 101 Network until 2011. Regardless of the name change, Audience/101 has been trying to stake its claim to classy, upper-tier television fare for a while now. It helped rescue the critically-acclaimed, low-rated Friday Night Lights from cancellation, getting first-run rights to the show’s last 3 seasons while NBC re-aired them later. Not long after that it also rescued the similarly critically-acclaimed but ratings-challenged Damages from cancellation on FX, this time being the exclusive channel for Damages, FX got no reruns. Audience Network has been chugging along since, airing originals such as police drama Rogue, seemingly trying to be recognized as being on the same high-quality premium tier as HBO, Showtime, or at least second-tier premium networks like Cinemax or Starz.
With all that said, Audience Network might’ve landed itself an original that pushes itself closer to that goal with the MMA-themed Kingdom. I’ve already blabbered long enough about the history of a TV channel so here’s the short of it:
Good cast, ably-directed, intriguing 1st episode of the MMA-set show. Didn’t blow me away but I’m enticed enough to keep watching. Also it stars a Jonas brother and I don’t hate it/him, whaaaaaat
How to Get Away with Murder (ABC) Episode 3: I’ve pretty much reached my limit with this show. Fucking called it that the black chick’s fiance was homo for that gay guy (it was blatantly obvious though, fucking Helen Keller coulda seen that shit from a mile away) and that the imprisoned terrorist woulda flipped on the stand against the housewife. Too fucking obvious. Also, how the fuck did he get out of jail THE SAME FUCKING DAY HE AGREED TO TESTIFY AGAINST HER?! Like, shortened sentences doesn’t fucking mean you get out the same day.
Cristela (ABC) Episode 1: It’s a multi-cam, laugh-track, live-studio audience show…..and I didn’t hate it. It has plenty of charming moments, it made me chortle more than once, it manages to sidestep almost all the pitfalls that plague multi-cam, laugh-track comedies today, and even has a pretty sweet moment towards the end. I can picture this airing after Modern Family.
Gracepoint (Fox) Episode 2: An improvement on the first episode but still far inferior to the original British series. The Solano family is glaringly weaker (acting-wise) to the equivalent Latimer family. My original remark about Anna Gunn potentially being the show’s only saving grace at this point in the show bears itself out in episode 2 with Gunn on-screen more than Tennant. Her take on Det. Miller feels fresh, feisty at times even, in a show that’s nearly a carbon copy of the original. Gunn is giving Miller her own spin and I like it. Tennant regurgitates (sometimes ver batim) some of the same dialogue from the original series, and it’s just not as good the second time around
Stalker (CBS) Episode 2: While I understand the critical drubbing this show received due to it being a misogynistic stalker-porn show, outside of that focus, it’s not terrible. I may even say it’s decent at being a thriller at times (for example during this episode’s opening sequence). It doesn’t really serve as much more than a case-of-the-week procedural, and it does that fairly ably. I don’t hate it like the critics, which is surprising given how much I absolutely loathe the previous show from the creator of Stalker, The Following. I’m merely am meh on about Stalker.
Scorpion (CBS) Episode 3: For the first two episodes this served as a sort of dumb fun, some light and light-weight entertainment to throw on in the background, but it got a bit too dumb and light-weight than fun and entertaining for its third outing. It’ll be interesting to see how this show does ratings-wise after its hefty Big Bang Theory is taken away, but I won’t be viewing anymore.
Manhattan (WGN America) Episode 11: Haven’t been including this in my weekly rankings/thoughts since I’ve been half-paying attention to this show starting around episode 2 or 3. It’s a decent show, but boring. This was probably the most intriguing episode of the show.
Returning Shows
The Good Wife (CBS) Episode 3: Better than last week’s good episode
Homeland (Showtime) Episode 1 & 2: I’ve always enjoyed Showtime though critics and some audience have complained about the last 2 seasons. I admit I see some weaknesses, especially in the last season and especially an over-reliance on the Brody family (particularly Dana Brody) in the early goings, but the ship mostly righted itself by the end and crescendo’d into an emotional wallop. Early buzz about season 4 was good, but I would reserve judgment until I saw it. I wasn’t particularly enthusiastic about scheduling back-to-back episodes what with the 9 other Sunday shows I have to watch, but now viewing them, airing the 2 episodes back-to-back makes sense. Episode 1 firmly pushed into a new direction, while episode 2 served dual purposes: it took the strands from episode 1 and more firmly charted a course for (what I’m thinking will be) the central plot of season 4. Episode 2 also tied up, in a way, some dangling threads from seasons prior. It was all great, with more than one FUCK.WHAT.FUCK.NO.WHAT.FUCK moments. Ratings for the show dropped significantly, busting the consistent season-over-season, premiere-to-finale ratings growth Homeland had been seeing. Maybe people aren’t interested SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT without the central couple/Brody as the center of the narrative anymore END SPOILER ALERT or maybe they saw the season 3 finale as wrapping up a 3-season storyline. Either way, I hope Homeland sees growth as this double-episode hints that Homeland still has plenty of fire left in its cannon and lays the groundwork and hints at a lot of fun spycraft shit to come. PLUS QUINN. GIVE HIM SPIN-OFF PLZ (QUINN-OFF?).
The Good Wife has been dominating my television rankings for the past 2 weeks running, but Homeland looks to serve up plenty of competition. Alicia Florrick v Carrie Mathison, oh baby.
Sleepy Hollow (Fox) Episode 3: This show emerged as one of the shows that surprised me the most, consistently being an entertaining, well-paced show. The beginning of this season was a bit meh to me, and increased my fears that with a larger-episode order, that perhaps this show would feel diluted a bit. Episode 3 brought the fun, and funny, back into this show. Among the many quotables: “I’ve watched the finale of Glee” “1. She’s a grown woman 2. She’s a witch 3. She’s a redhead” etc.
Ranked, Week 3: All Scripted Shows I Watched Oct. 5-11
Will I be doing this every week? No, just during the initial weeks of the fall television season. Since the networks staggered their premieres, with Fox a little earlier, and the CW with later premieres, this’ll be going on for a bit longer until most of the garbage shows get dumped.
I discuss my thoughts on some of the below shows in more depth here
Week 1 Rankings
Week 2 Rankings
—————Good—————
1. The Good Wife (CBS)
1. Homeland Episode 1 (Showtime) Back-to-back episodes season premiere
3. Homeland Episode 2 (Showtime) Back-to-back episodes season premiere
4. Brooklyn Nine-Nine (Fox)
5. Kingdom (Audience Network aka DirecTV) Series premiere
6. The Knick (Cinemax)
6½. Boardwalk Empire (HBO) me and my ½s
8. South Park (Comedy Central)
9. Modern Family (ABC)
10. The Goldbergs (ABC)
11. Sons of Anarchy (FX)
12. Manhattan (WGN America)
—————SO-SO—————
13. Sleepy Hollow (Fox)
14. Downton Abbey (ITV)
15. The Mindy Project (Fox)
16. Gracepoint (Fox)
17. Black-ish (ABC)
————–Blah—————
18. Mulaney (Fox)
19. Gotham (Fox)
20. Stalker (CBS)
21. Scorpion (CBS)
22. Selfie (ABC)
—————Ugh—————
23. Bad Judge (NBC)
24. How to Get Away with Murder (ABC)
Downgraded to Background Noise Status: Selfie
Dumped: Scorpion
*The Flash is not on here since I watched it a looong time ago during summer
Ranked, Week 2: All Scripted Shows I Watched Sept. 28-Oct. 4
I gave my thoughts on the new and returning shows of week 2 of the fall television season here, but here’s a straightforward ranking of all the scripted, non-variety (no Daily Show, Last Week Tonight, etc) shows I watched during the 2nd week of the fall television season. It’s based wholly on my enjoyment of them, so while there are some shows that may be better than others, if I didn’t like as much, it will be ranked lower. On to the rankings!
—————Good—————
1. The Good Wife (CBS) Following up a solid season premiere with a good episode
2. Masters of Sex (Showtime) season finale
3. Brooklyn Nine-Nine (Fox) season premiere
4. The Knick (Cinemax)
5. Boardwalk Empire (HBO)
6. Modern Family (ABC)
6½. The Goldbergs (ABC) ‘and a half’ because, while it’s not quite equal to Modern Family, this episode was pretty damn close. The best parts of Modern Family (Luke Phil Haley and the ‘experiment’) shined brighter than the best parts of Goldbergs, but damn that Cam-Mitch storyline
8. The Awesomes (hulu) season finale
9. Downton Abbey (ITV)
10. Sons of Anarchy (FX)
11. South Park (Comedy Central)
—————SO-SO—————
11. Sleepy Hollow (Fox)
12. The Mindy Project (Fox)
12. Gracepoint (Fox)
14. Madame Secretary (CBS)
————–Worse than so-so, but not quite Bad—————
not even worth the effort to rank
-Scorpion (CBS)
-Black-ish (ABC)
-How to Get Away with Murder (ABC)
-Gotham (Fox)
-Bad Judge (NBC)
-Stalker (CBS)
—————Not Good—————
21. Red Band Society (Fox)
Downgraded to Background Noise in Future Viewings: Gotham, Bad Judge, Stalker, How to Get Away with Murder, Scorpion
Dumped: Red Band Society, Madame Secretary
Reviewing Week 2 of the Fall Television Season
Gracepoint (Fox) Episode 1: Inferior to the original in just about every way. It’s a carbon copy of Broadchurch, which isn’t a bad thing in itself since that show was so sublime, but in copying it over it loses a bit and feels rougher around the edges. A beat lingers too long here, subtlety is missed there, and the British cast (excepting the leads) is superior to the American cast (especially the Solano family vs the British Latimers), even Tennant’s American Emmett Carver feels inferior to Detective Alec Hardy (particularly when he storms into the police station demanding to know who leaked the identity of the victim, his screaming feels a bit over the top and almost amusing). There is one way I see Gracepoint distinguishing itself: Anna Gunn’s detective Ellie Miller. There’s a lot of scenes, a lot that Olivia Coleman did better, and that’s not a knock on Anna Gunn who doesn’t have to prove herself as an actress, Coleman just has an everyday lady, next-door-neighbor vibe to her that radiates authenticity and subtle nuance. But there are some scenes that Gunn seems to translate in a different manner than Coleman did, it’s not better, it’s not worse, it’s different, and at this point, differentiating itself from the original beyond just changing the killer 8 episodes down the road is a step in the right direction.
I’ll be sticking around for as long as I can tolerate of Gracepoint’s 10-episodes, but I imagine I’ll be demoting it to background viewing soon enough.
Bad Judge (NBC) Episode 1: Pretty good cast, meh show
Stalker (CBS) Episode 1: I was expecting this show to be shit based on the reviews, and it was certainly not good, but I don’t find myself wanting to spew the kind of vitriol that reviewers have towards this show. It’s another murder/slasher crime-porn procedural routine for CBS, nothing more, nothing less.
Red Band Society (Fox) Episode 3: It’s not badNo, it’s bad, just also incredibly and utterly forgettable. What is recent-Oscar winner Octavia Spencer doing in this? It’s like Picasso being in a kindergarten art class surrounded by kids finger painting.
Madame Secretary (CBS) Episode 2: It improves a bit with its second episode, but still feels twice as long as it actually is due to lots of filler and boring-as-shit family storylines dragging down the pace. It feels like it’s striving to be something greater, but at this point it is trying so damn hard to be the type of classy, smart, sharp show that The Good Wife is, and occasionally Madame Secretary almost grasps it, but as for the other 95% of the time, this show is dull, boring, insipid, and just trying far more than it is actually succeeding. Maybe it will blossom into a smart geopolitical drama, but right now it is basic as shit.
Gotham (Fox) Episode 2: I don’t understand the degree of the positive reviews Gotham is receiving. It’s tone is inconsistent and feels so scatterbrained in its atmosphere. Gritty cop drama? Hyper-realistic comic book adaptation? Dark drama? It’s wildly all over the place, not that I would mind if it could do a halfway decent job at any of those tones. It squanders talent and there’s nothing appealing here to non-hardcore comic book fans. I’m less enamored with Fish Mooney in the second episode (especially when she screams for everybody to get out of her restaurant in a moment of over-acting), but Penguin is still solid and the Riddler is right up there with Penguin, despite only having a total of 2 minute 30 seconds of screentime between the two episodes. It was a chore to watch Gotham, there is very little pulling me into the show, and it is being downgraded to background noise.
Black-ish (ABC) Episode 2: meh-ish
How to Get Away with Murder (ABC) Episode 2: The first episode didn’t blow me away, but was fairly entertaining, if too populated with caricatures and clichés of characters and not overly-intelligent writing. The crispness and intrigue of the new show pretty much all dissipates in the follow-up episode. The dumbness is more pronounced, the characters more one-dimensional, and the plotting more contrived and feels more artificially set-up. Oh Viola Davis and Octavia Spencer, you were both forces in The Help, you deserve shows that are on your level.
Returning Shows
Modern Family (ABC) Episode 2: Another episode showcasing that if Modern Family whittled down its cast to focus entirely on the Dunphey clan (that is Phil, Claire and the kids), this show would be better. Cam and Mitch’s storyline focuses again on how neither of them can say something directly and try weird ways to manipulate their daughter into smiling better, something that any sane person would overlook and not fucking care so much about. I didn’t hate Gloria and Jay’s story, it was kinda nice, and they actually found a role for Manny other than ha-ha, kid whose tastes is more mature than his age as the go-between for Gloria and Jay. The Luke-Haley-Phil plot was golden. Even if I figured out that they were being paranoid and it wasn’t an experiment early on, the journey was satisfying at hell (and Haley showed her dramatic chops with a semi-monologue about how she feels like a failure, the feels). Claire didn’t have much to do this episode but was on point as usual, and I’m indifferent towards Alex’s story as it wasn’t anything surprising or particularly new. All and all, it’s a pretty standard late-season episode for Modern Family that makes me wish they’d kick out Cam and Mitch but keep Lily.
Brooklyn Nine-Nine (Fox) Episode 1: Yes, yes, a million times yes!
Fall Television Preview (2014): What I’m Gonna be Watching
ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL TELEVISION?!?!?!
Fall television is right around the corner and as the relentless television addict that I am, I. am. READY.
Here’s a list of the shows I plan on checking out, new shows are marked with 
(credit for the image goes to my favorite movie/TV/music review site, Metacritic), and it means they will get a 2-episode trial period and if they suck a d, I’ll dump it afterwards (though I tend to keep trying them beyond the trial period, thereby keeping up with a mediocre show rather than catching up with actually good shows like Breaking Bad, The Good Wife, Deadwood, The Wire etc etc….. all of which I WILL watch…eventually). On to the shows!
Boardwalk Empire (HBO)
Boardwalk Empire has been a consistently good, critically-appreciated show, but it hardly ever makes it to the upper echelons of my yearly ‘Top Shows’ list; likewise, it gets fairly decent ratings but is no Game of Thrones or True Blood (which is probably why this upcoming 5th season is both its last season and is shortened to a mere 8 episode as opposed to its usual 12 episodes, additionally, it’s a lavish period piece i.e. probably quite pricey to produce for only decent ratings). In addition to that, it has been oft-overlooked in the awards race, nominated but seldom winning, overshadowed by upstarts such as True Detective, Homeland, Mad Men and their ilk. So while the announcement of this season of BE being its last was initially a surprise, it makes sense.
I’m a bit glad/relieved that it’s ending as it sometimes felt like an obligation to watch, and supported my preference for 45-minute dramas as opposed to premium cable’s full 60-minute runtime. From the little I’ve read, this season hits the ground running and will be filled with more action. It’s a little sad that Steve Buscemi is unlikely to score an Emmy for his turn as gangster Nucky Thompson, what felt like a 180 transformation from his prior work as ‘that awkward-looking guy’ (I know I know, he’s murdered people in Fargo and Reservoir Dogs, but I’m more use to seeing him as bumbling detective Lenny Wosniak on 30 Rock) as Jon Hamm will probably snag it for the last half of the last season of Mad Men after being snubbed 10 previous times (7 for Mad Men, 3 for guesting on 30 Rock); likewise for Kevin Spacey unless House of Cards gets renewed for a 4th season (unlikely, unless Frank Underwood becomes president of U.N. or NATO or something at the end of season 3, which I would totally be down with).
Sons of Anarchy (FX)
After 2 spectacular seasons, last season was a bit of a comedown, probably due in part to most episodes running a full hour instead of 45-minutes (see above comment about preferring 45-minute runtimes over 60 minutes). Still, it was filled with enough jaw-dropping moments, deaths of major characters, a great speech praising “the power of pussy” by Ron Perlman, and one helluva season ender. With this being its last season, I’m looking forward to series creator Kurt Sutter not holding back (though, when has he really?) and going out with a bang (or 5). Guest stars from Marilyn Manson (yeah, THAT Marilyn Manson) and Courtney Love (yeah, THAT Courtney Love) ought to (hopefully) make things interesting and not be a total trainwreck as well as a much-appreciated return from everybody’s favorite transexual prostitute Venus Van Damme (Walton Goggins has never looked better than having a strap of Double D’s (or bigger) strapped on).
Red Bang Society (Fox)
An intriguing new ‘dark dramedy’ on Fox about “a group of teenagers living together as patients in a hospital’s pediatric ward.” That premise coupled with Oscar-winner Octavia Spencer (The Help) is what sold me on it. I’ve watched the first episode, which Fox made available online early, and it was a bit of letdown. Will I watch it much longer after its initial 2-episode trial period? Who knows. It feels a little like Glee – music – high school + hospital. And NOT nearly enough Octavia Spencer, who plays much more of a supporting role than expected. It’s adapted from a well-regarded Catalan/Spanish show, feels like something got lost in translation.
The Mindy Project (Fox)
This show has been more likeable than it’s actually funny. The sum of the cast and writers feels like it falls short of its potential. But since it (somehow) got renewed for another season, I guess I’ll keep watching it, I guess.
60 Minutes (CBS)
FUCK YEAH. LONG-FORM TELEVISION JOURNALISM! Being a reporter is one of my paths not taken, though seeing as how I have a roof over my head and food on my plate, that’s probably for the better, but I can still be a news junkie at heart.
The Good Wife (CBS)
Full disclosure: I just typed that as ‘The Woof Gife’ at first.
Since I started watching this show last season, I’ve been enthusiastically evangelizing it to TV junkies (with successful converts! Their reactions has been unanimous: it’s surprisingly much better than they thought it would be). Don’t be turned off by the title, this isn’t some soapy domestic woman kicks out her philandering husband and strikes out on her own rah rah feminist show, nor be put off by the fact that it’s on CBS. Its 5th season is currently tied with Game of Thrones as my favorite drama of 2014 so far, granted some of that is due to it having that ‘new show smell’ and my binging through its 5th season, but fucking hell, ‘Hitting the Fan’ is one of the best episodes of any television show this year.
Gotham (Fox)
I’m not a huge comic book fan, I’m well behind on all the Marvel movies despite their making $70 gazillion worldwide (approximately) and after 1/2 a season of both Marvel’s Agents of SHIELD and Arrow, I was left underwhelmed by both. Still, the combination of it being an origins story of Detective James Gordan (aka Gary Oldman in the Dark Knight trilogy), this being FOX’s biggest show that it’s pushing and marketing, and especially Ben McKenzie (known to most people as troubled teen Ryan from The O.C. but to me as Officer Ben Sherman in best-cop-drama-that’s-not-The-Wire Southland) makes me intrigued. Early screenings of the show have reported a warm reception. I’m cautiously optimistic.
Sleepy Hollow (Fox)
I was ready for this to be an over-the-top, convoluted, overly-complicated mess last season, and it wasn’t, far from. Rather, it was one of the most enjoyable shows of last year, just straight-forward fun. That it had 13 episodes helped it in being a more tightly-constructed, well-oiled machine that helped drive forward its main plotline with nary a filler episode in sight. I hope that its second season being boosted to 18 episodes doesn’t dilute its quality.
Godamn, I just saw its 2nd season poster, my body is so ready.
Scorpion (CBS)
I already regret putting this on my list of shows getting a 2-episode trial period tbh.
The Goldbergs (ABC)
Best comedy on TV? No. Progressed and improved throughout its first season? Yes. Wendi McLendon-Covey is a firecracker of a helicopter parent/original SMother? Yes, yes, a million times yes. With a far better lead-in from The Middle rather than Agents of SHIELD last season, I’m rooting for this one to find an audience and become a solid part of ABC’s Wednesday night comedy line-up.
Modern Family (ABC)
There are entire characters and plotlines I find myself more than willing to do without, but damn if they can’t still crank out a majestic-as-fuck episode every now and then (see: last season’s ‘Las Vegas,’ which won MF its 4th consecutive Emmy for Outstanding Directing for a Comedy). With its continued dominance at the Emmys, it’s understandable that there’s growing discontent amongst people who would rather see Silicon Valley, Veep, Parks & Recreation, etc get their due, not that I disagree (especially in the case of Parks & Rec), butfuckit I still love me some ModFam.
Black-ish (ABC)
Will ABC finally launch a show that sticks in the Modern Family time-slot time period? With Black-ish being a family comedy, it stands a better chance than previous incongruous choices such as Mixology, Super Fun Night (fucking. awful.), Happy Endings, and Don’t Trust the B—- in Apt. 23.
South Park (Comedy Central)
With South Park reverting to a 10-episode straight-through season as opposed to 14-episode split-seasons, I’m actually kind of excited for South Park. Last season’s fairly strong 17th season (A Song of Ass and Fire 3-parter, God yes), a plethora of news items to mock (upcoming midterm elections, ALS Ice Bucket challenge, ISIS beheadings (if anyone can make fun of it, it’s South Park), and plenty of news items yet to come), along with no distractions for South Park creators/writers like they had for the past few seasons such as The Book of Mormon/The Stick of Truth make prospects for season 18 looking good.
How to Get Away with Murder (ABC)
This really could go either way, but, if I’m not mistaken, this is Viola Davis’s first regular, starring television role. What could make serious dramatic, multi-Oscar-nominated, Tony-winning actress Viola Davis grace television (and not cable television filled with prestige dramas!) (besides a steady paycheck)? That, I need to see. It’s premise is intriguing (“a law professor at a prestigious Philadelphia university who with her students becomes entwined in a murder plot”) and comes from Shonda Rhimes (in fact, all of ABC’s Thursday night shows were created by her: Grey’s Anatomy, Scandal), which could go either way. I’ll give it a shot, hopefully it’s not shit, hopefully.
Brooklyn Nine-Nine (Fox), season 2
I did not really like Andy Samberg before this show. I’m down with the S-berg after watching B99. If you are a fan of Parks & Rec, you need to watch B99, which comes from two longtime Parks & Rec writers. Uproariously hilarious. That Fox moved B99 to Sundays and squished it between its animation domination shows does not bode well for its future ratings-wise.
Selfie (ABC)
The premise of this show seems pretty schlocky (“…series follows the life of Eliza Dooley (a modern day version of Eliza Doolittle), a woman obsessed with becoming famous through the use of social media platforms until she realizes that she needs to actually find people that she can be friends with physically instead of “friending” them online. This prompts Eliza to hire Henry Higenbottam (a modern day version of Henry Higgins in My Fair Lady), a marketing self-image guru who takes on the task of rebranding Eliza’s image in the hope of showing her that there is more to life out there than just playing Candy Crush Saga with an iPhone and connecting with a Facebook page”). I’m only watching this for Karen Gillan (who proved herself comedically-able on NTSF:SD:SUV::), but after watching its first episode (available here), this doesn’t look like I’ll keep up with it for long.
Stalker (CBS)
Another show I’m not so sure about putting on my trial period list…I keep trying out CBS shows only to be left sorely disappointed, I don’t know if disappointed is the right word seeing as how my expectations beforehand are fairly muted because, y’know, it’s CBS. Still, Maggie Q + Dylan McDermott (from my all-time favorite show The Practice), at worst, it’ll be just another CBS splatterfest dead bodies, homicide-porn show.
Bad Judge (NBC)
Another show you might be scratching your head over and going ‘WHAT are you THINKING?!’ Much like Selfie, the appeal of this show for me rests on the shoulders of its red-headed female lead, this time in the form of Kate Walsh. She was awesome for the 2-3 seasons I watched Grey’s Anatomy, with every appearance of Addison Montgomery coming with a side of slight bitchitude but still remaining pretty likeable; Walsh has proven herself as having a solid sense of humor and funnybone with great appearances on the Comedy Central Roast of Charlie Sheen and @midnight; and her rack was one of many great things about FX’s Fargo /endchauvinistpig>. Could this totally crash and burn and fail? Definitely. But even if it does, I suspect Walsh will be the one redeeming thing about it.
Gracepoint (Fox)
To say my feelings are mixed about Gracepoint is an understatement. On the one hand, it’s an adaptation of the SUBLIME British murder mystery Broadchurch, coming from Broadchurch’s same writer/creator (Chris Chibnall) as well as director (James Strong, he directed 5 of Broadchurch’s 8 episodes, though how many episodes he’ll direct in the remake are unknown. He certainly contributed to the eerie, gloomy, downbeat atmosphere of the original). Another plus, David Tennant returns playing essentially the same character (don’t know how long it’ll take me to get over his fake American accent though, so used to his wonderful Scottish/British accent). Also, Anna Gunn, fresh off her 2nd consecutive Emmy win, will co-lead, playing Tennant’s police partner. Nick Nolte and Jacki Weaver (with 5 Oscar nominations between them) play supporting characters. Finally, the atmosphere and location of Broadchurch contributed heavily to it (imo), with the picturesque Dorset coastline being a prominent part. The only place I thought could mimic that feel of a small town was New England, thankfully Gracepoint shot in Canada which is increasingly becoming a popular place to shoot for its woods, forests and coastlines.
On the other hand, it’s an American remake…on a broadcast channel. I don’t know man, I’m hoping for the best, and bracing myself for the worst. I’d say there’s a 40% chance it ends up leaving much to be desired, 40% chance it ends up merely passable, 15% chance it ends up alright/decent but still inferior to the original, and a 5% (or less) chance it ends up pulling a Shameless and reinventing itself to something equal or superior to the original. What was my basis for coming up with those numbers? Absolutely nothing.
Though I’ll say this, the trailer doesn’t really look promising. Oh God please don’t fuck this up Fox. As a consolation though, there WILL be a season 2 of the original Broadchurch with many original castmembers returning (including Tennant and Olivia Coleman). But if it ends up losing the magic of s1 and Gracepoint sucks…I don’t know how I’ll be able to handle it.
At this point you may be asking, ‘Jeez, does your life revolve around television?!’ Yes, of course it does. Stop asking stupid questions.
Homeland (Showtime) 
I’ve resolutely loved and enjoyed this show despite fans and critics’ diminishing enjoyment of it. I admit there were problems in the early batch of episodes from season 3, butfuckit the ending left me devastated. I’m so fuckin’ ready for Carrie Mathison and co. (and wishfully awaiting a spin-off for Peter Quinn: International Badass (to be clear: there is no such spin-off in development, I just wish there was)). Good news for Dana Brody haters (aka every person who ever watched a minute of Homeland) the Brody family is out of the picture in season 4. Additionally, Corey muthafuckin’ Stoll (the tragic Rep. Peter Russo from House of Cards) is in season 4 along with the return of the young Persian CIA analyst Fara Sherazi from season 3. The premise reboot intrigues me, and the trailer for season 4 instills confidence that they’ve got their shit together over there at Homeland Central:
Mulaney (Fox)
From a show I have high expectations for to…one less so. Mulaney comes from veteran SNL writer John Mulaney, who co-created Bill Hader’s Stefon character, and would oftentimes rewrite his script without Hader’s knowing, leading to Hader visibly breaking character in laughter. The history of Mulaney (the show) is a bit complicated: it originally started at NBC but was passed up, now it’s at Fox. I’m not sure if it started as a multi-camera sitcom (aka laugh-track) at NBC, but it now is. Based on the previews and trailers I’ve seen, that absolutely fucking kills it. I hope this goes against my expectations and miraculously becomes a funny, successful multi-cam sitcom, but I doubt it. Hey, how about Mulaney and Bill Hader created Stefon: The TV Show, no…that would probably suck.
The Flash (CW)
I’ve already watched the first episode of The Flash and summarized my quick reactions and thoughts to it here.
Long story short: Looks more promising than Arrow to me, but still liable to stupidity and CW-isms. Will proceed with caution.
The Affair (Showtime) 
Masters of Sex lost its plum post-Homeland time slot (and subsequently its ratings dropped but thank God Showtime renewed this solid human drama for a 3rd season) due to new series The Affair. I haven’t heard much about it, but Showtime has churned out enough quality shows at this point that any new scripted show from them is worth checking out. And the more I hear about it the more I’m intrigued. What looks to be another solid human drama, The Affair focuses on, surprise, an affair and how it affects two couples. The casting looks solid: Dominic West (The Wire, Appropriate Adult), Joshua Jackson (Fringe, Dawson’s Creek), Maura Tierney (ER), and MUTHAFUCKIN’ RUTH WILSON (The Lone Ranger, Saving Mr. Banks, and most importantly, playing enchanting psychopath Alice Morgan on Luther). That Ruth Wilson is in it in a prominent role is 80% (at least) of the reason I’m anticipating this show, God I hope she murders someone on this show.
Marry Me (NBC)
Another show where it’s not the premise that intrigues me (generic rom-com), but the talent in-front of (Casy Wilson and Ken Marino are the main couple) and behind the camera (series creator David Caspe also created cult favorite Happy Endings, which, for the record, I found merely ‘alright’). Early reception of this show has been fairly warm; we’ll see.
The Walking Dead (AMC)
I’ve found that watching this show in half-season binges helps make it more palatable to me, though I may watch the season premiere day-of. Either way, I doubt I’ll be turned into a rapturous Walking Dead fan anytime soon.
Constantine (NBC)
We’ll see how this one goes.
Downton Abbey (ITV/PBS)
YEAH YUH YUH YUH YUH DOWNTON ABBEY YUS.
AVthatsme 