2017 Upfronts Preview Part 3: If I scheduled CBS’s Schedule

2017’s Upfront is right around the corner. Network executives have been trying to narrow down which pilots to pick up to series, which past season’s show to cancel/renew, and how to schedule it all.

I’ve taken a look at the renew/cancel chances of this season’s shows, the pilots in contention to be next season’s new shows, and how I would program ABC’s schedule. On to CBS.

CBS has been its typical steady self. Not deviating far from its multi-cam, laugh-track comedies nor its procedural dramas has done well for the network as other networks flounder with gambits that crashed and burned (notably, the one show that deviated from their playbook, Doubt was the one that crashed and was pulled from the schedule after a a mere two episodes).

So what to do, continue with their crime procedural/laugh-track comedy playbook to diminishing returns each year as streaming/cable channels launch buzzier shows? Adjust their programming for the possibility of luring more of the 18-49 demo at the risk of alienating their core audience and have another Doubt-level failure? It’s certainly a tough needle to thread but here’s one potential schedule.

Sunday
Current Schedule: 60 Minutes/NCIS: Los Angeles/Madam Secretary/Elementary
The first two hours are steady eddy, keep them. The David Boreanaz-starring Navy SEALs drama is a good fit with NCIS, push Madam Secretary to end the night.

Monday
Current Schedule: Kevin Can Wait/Man with a Plan/Superior Doughnuts/2 Broke Girls/Scorpion
Assuming CBS gets the initially batch of Thursday Night Football games again, CBS doesn’t want to lose any more weeks without Big Bang Theory on the air. Start the season with Big Bang Theory leading out to new show 9J, 9K, and 9L, followed by Kevin Can Wait, Man with a Plan, and ending the night with solid 10/9 o’clock anchor Scorpion
Once CBS’s Thursday Night Football games end and TBBT relocates to Thursday, move the 9/8 o’clock block to 8/7, push 9J, 9K, 9L a half hour later followed by 2 Broke Girls.

Tuesday
Current Schedule: NCIS/Bull/NCIS: New Orleans
All three shows have eroded from last season and throughout this season. Still, CBS has wobblier days to reassess first.

Wednesday
Current Schedule: Survivor/Criminal Minds/Criminal Minds: Beyond Borders
CBS has had trouble finding a show to launch in the 10/9 hour, renewing low-rated shows like Criminal Minds: Beyond Borders and Code Black as they low, but as least consistent, CBS figured consistency counts for something in this day and age. Either/both of those shows could very well come back next season as filler.
There’s an interesting prospect for a show with potential to be more than just good enough: S.W.A.T.. Executive Produced by Shawn Ryan with a first episode directed by Justin Lin (Fast & Furious 4-6, Star Trek Beyond; first episode of Scorpion) and starring Shemar Moore, this project seems well-tailored towards CBS’s playbook. Launching it after the show Moore starred in for so long mimics the success CBS had this year with Bull. CBS may even get aggressive and launch in in the 9/8 hour and push a slightly fading Criminal Minds to the 10/9 hour, though that’s a move better made next season to gauge the reception of S.W.A.T. first.

Thursday
Current Schedule: The Big Bang Theory/The Big Bang Theory repeat/Mom/Life in Pieces/The Amazing Race
The search for a Big Bang Theory lead-out continues. With a single-camera Big Bang Theory prequel already ordered to series, CBS may have killed two birds with one stone: finding a suitable stablemate for Big Bang Theory and launching a successful single-camera as younger demographics are avoid laugh-track comedies (along with Life in Pieces). Mom performs admirably and Life in Pieces chugs along so those stay put after The Big Bang Theory and Young Sheldon kicks off the night.
How to end the night is another question. The Thursday 10/9 hour is littered with casualties after Elementary vacated the spot: Training Day; Pure Genius; Rush Hour. The Amazing Race has been performing okay-not-great in the position in Spring, it’s tempting to put it there again, though there are rumors CBS wants to move to one cycle of TAR per season. If that’s the case, something like Instinct could work, it helps that it stars two actors who are familiar faces to CBS viewers: Alan Cumming (The Good Wife) and Khandi Alexander (CSI: Miami). But barring a break-out hit, the Thursday 10/9 hour has the stench of doom on it for seasons to come.

Friday
Current Schedule: MacGyver/Hawaii Five-0/Blue Bloods
One of CBS’s steadiest nights, keep it be.

2017-18 CBS television schedule
new shows in italics

Sunday: 60 Minutes/NCIS: Los Angeles/Untitled Navy SEALs/Madam Secretary
Monday: The Big Bang Theory/9J, 9K, 9L/Kevin Can Wait/Man with a Plan/Scorpion
(After football: Kevin Can Wait/Man with a Plan/9J, 9K, 9L/2 Broke Girls/Scorpion)
Tuesday: NCIS/Bull/NCIS: New Orleans
Wednesday: Survivor/Criminal Minds/S.W.A.T.
Thursday: Thursday Night Football
(After football: The Big Bang Theory/Young Sheldon/Mom/Life in Pieces/Instinct)
Friday: MacGyver/Hawaii Five-0/Blue Bloods

2016 Upfronts Preview Pt 3c: If I scheduled CBS’s TV Schedule

Upfronts, the annual ritual when TV network execs trek to NYC to pitch their upcoming television schedule in the hopes that advertisers are enticed enough to buy ad time during the shows.

In my preview of the 2016 Upfronts, I’ve taken a look at the pilots (aka first episode) under contention to be picked up to series as well as the prospects for renewal/cancellation of the shows currently on air. Note: these posts could already be out of date with renewal/cancellation & pilot pickup/passed over news since they’ve been published.

In the last part of the Upfronts Preview, I’ll play backseat network executive and lay out how I would program the upcoming television schedule for each of the networks. I’ve went over ABC’s schedule, the CW’s schedule, now it’s time to take a whack at CBS’s.

Say what you will about CBS’s programming, its transitions are smooth: Letterman-to-Colbert (Late Show), Bob Schieffer-to-John Dickerson (Face the Nation), and Nina Tassler to Glen Geller (President CBS Entertainment). Contrast that with the messiness at other networks (Conan, Ann Curry, Michael Strahan). Nina Tassler stepping down is also special in that, so far as is known, she stepped down willingly (after a remarkably long time as CBS Entertainment President) instead of being pushed out as is the norm for the notoriously short career lifespan of network heads of entertainment. Maybe she saw the writing on the wall that the television trends that engulfed so many of CBS’s competitors would eventually catch up to CBS and decided to jump ship before it too caught up to CBS (purely speculation). Either way, she steps down after a strong run at one of the most consistent networks; and it now falls to new CBS Entertainment President Glenn Geller to keep the sturdy CBS ship afloat as it navigates the murky waters of cord-cutting, peak TV, VOD, and depressed 18-49 ratings.

Sunday
Current Schedule: 60 Minutes/Madam Secretary/The Good Wife/Elementary
The Good Wife is going off the air and Madam Secretary & Elementary have both been renewed. CBS seems to be resigned to the fact that Sundays will not be their best night and will be an older-skewing night with low 18-49 ratings, granted they may have a reason to not be too aggressive on this night as CBS-owned Showtime does decent/quite well on Sundays year-round with Homeland, Shameless, Penny Dreadful, Ray Donovan, The Affair, and Masters of Sex.
So it’s probably safe to assume they won’t dramatically rearrange the night and that three of the four hours will stay, with the 9/8c hour being vacated due to The Good Wife ending (R.I.P. you remarkable show). What to fill this hour with that will transition from (and keep) Madam Secretary’s considerable (if older-skewing) audience? Relocate The Amazing Race back to the hour. Honestly the best CBS can expect (and seems content with for the past few seasons) from its Sundays is mid-to-low-1 ratings, which The Amazing Race has been able to pull on the depressed-television-viewing night of Friday.

Monday
Current Schedule: Supergirl/Scorpion/NCIS: Los Angeles
The CBS rumor mill has been working hard with theories of Supergirl’s ratings being a disappointment relative to its cost-per-episode and that Supergirl will only be renewed under the condition that it’s moved to the CW (which CBS co-owns). While this sounds a bit ludicrous, I won’t discount it entirely. For now, I’ll assume it’s renewed and stays on CBS (not that the CW even has room for Supergirl on its packed schedule).
With Thursday Night Football displacing CBS Thursdays for the first 6-or-so weeks of the season, CBS will likely do its usual schedule shuffling to temporarily relocate 2 comedies to Monday. During these first six weeks, have The Big Bang Theory kick off the night and lead into the new Matt LeBlanc comedy to give it a solid launchpad. After TBBT & Matt LeBlanc’s comedy moves to Thursday, fill in with two comedies: returning series Life in Pieces and new comedy My Time/Your Time. While CBS retreated from trying to create a Monday comedy block years ago, a stable 2-hour Thursday comedy block does not give CBS enough real estate to launch all of its comedies. Launch the season with a benched Supergirl and see how the comedies perform on Monday & Thursday. Swap time slots & premiere Supergirl during mid-season as needed.

Tuesday
Current Schedule: NCIS/NCIS: New Orleans/Limitless
This night works, keep it. Although keep an eye on Limitless, and do some off-season tinkering (albeit lightly) as this show started strong but petered off as the season wore on).

Wednesday
Current Schedule: Survivor/Criminal Minds/Criminal Minds: Beyond Borders
In last week’s ratings, Survivor, in its 32nd season outrated The Voice (10th season) in both total viewers and the 18-49 demo. Very impressive. Criminal Minds: Beyond Borders has been doing admirably enough leading out from its original anchor. As tempting as it would be to keep it there, relocate it to Fridays, where it might prove to be a suitable lead-in for fellow crime-in-exotic-locales program Hawaii Five-0. End Wednesdays with Training Day. I was originally thinking MacGyver but the older-skewing audience of Criminal Minds will probably write off any young actor stepping into the shoes of a rebooted MacGyver without giving the show a chance.

Thursday
Current Schedule: The Big Bang Theory/The Odd Couple/Mom/2 Broke Girls/Rush Hour
After Thursday Night Football, TBBT leads off the night as usual. The Odd Couple has been performing admirably enough during the Spring to warrant it continuing leading out from TBBT. Follow that up with the Matt LaBlanc comedy and end the night’s comedy block with Mom. Finish the night with Drew.

Friday
Current Schedule: The Amazing Race/Hawaii Five-0/Blue Bloods
Hawaii Five-0 is getting up there in age so it will probably ride off into the sunset soon. For now, it’s been renewed so CBS will keep this relatively-stable night in tact. Move Amazing Race back to Sundays and see if Criminal Minds: Beyond Borders can hold its own on Fridays, or even improve on TAR’s ratings by a couple ratings ticks with it potentially being more compatible with the night’s crime drama programming.

2016-17 CBS television schedule
new shows in italics

Sunday: 60 Minutes/Madam Secretary/The Amazing Race/Elementary
Monday: The Big Bang Theory/Untitled Matt LeBlanc comedy/Scorpion/NCIS: Los Angeles
(After football: Life in Pieces/My Time-Your Time/Scorpion/NCIS: Los Angeles)
Tuesday: NCIS/NCIS: New Orleans/Limitless
Wednesday: Survivor/Criminal Minds/Training Day
Thursday: Thursday Night Football
(After football: The Big Bang Theory/The Odd Couple/Untitled Matt LeBlanc comedy/Mom/Drew)
Friday: Criminal Minds: Beyond Borders/Hawaii Five-0/Blue Bloods

2016 Upfronts Preview Pt 2: Cancelled or Renewed?

Upfronts is the presentation that takes place each year in New York City in May where the television networks pitch their upcoming television schedules to ad buyers, attempting to sell the bulk of their commercial time (and also start creating buzz for their new shows, or measure the lack thereof). So it’s usually (but not always) the deadline by which executives decide to cancel/renew shows (though it’s usually decided sooner, it’s public at Upfronts). While cable networks (and increasingly, websites with digital shows) have been getting in on the action with their own Upfronts presentation, this series of posts will focus on the Big 4 (+CW).

In Part 1, I looked at the pilots under contention to be picked up to series at each of the networks.

In this post, I’ll take a look at the current schedule for the nearly-ended 2015-16 season (scripted shows only) to see which shows are likely to come back, and which aren’t likely to survive. Coming up in future posts, I’ll go network-by-network to see how I would schedule each of them for the upcoming television season.

ABC
Renewed:
-Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.
-Fresh off the Boat
-Once Upon a TIme
-Black-ish
-The Middle
-How to Get Away with Murder
-The Goldbergs
-Grey’s Anatomy
-Scandal
-Modern Family

Cancelled/de facto Cancelled:
-Wicked City
-Of Kings and Prophets
-Blood & Oil

Predictions:
-Castle It lost it’s female lead and a supporting character. ABC is looking to cut costs for a show and that’s not something you do on a show you’re just looking to ditch. Look for this show to return if a new contract can be worked out with star Nathan Fillion.
-American Crime Toss up. Low-rated, but critically acclaimed. ABC may want to hold on to this one to continue their relationship with Oscar-winner John Ridley (12 Years a Slave) and to keep an award-winning, prestige show now that Scandal/Modern Family are over the Emmys hump.
-The Catch Not an outright bomb, but this latest Shondaland outing has been mostly ignored. A short second season order may come about in order to keep things collegial with Shonda Rhimes.
-The Real O’Neals Another show getting meh ratings. At this point though, meh ratings may be enough to warrant a short second-season. Wouldn’t hate another as the surreal bits in the show have made me a regular viewer. Renew it.
-Last Man Standing Its consistency on Friday nights will bring it back for another season..
-Agent Carter I really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, REALLY hope this comes back for another season. Wouldn’t be surprised if it didn’t given its second season ratings slid from its already nothing-to-write-home-about season 1 ratings, but damn if this isn’t an utterly well-rounded,intelligent, adult, damn fine show.
-Nashville Short 5th season order is the way to go. Full season if ABC is really desperate.
-The Family Dead show walking.
-The Muppets A critical and commercial failure. Bury it
-Dr. Ken Toss-up. It does okay on Friday nights, but that’s a pretty damn low bar.
-Galavant One of the most surprising renewals of last season. Extremely unlikely to perform a second miracle now that the ABC executive that championed the show has been replaced.

CBS
Renewed:
-Elementary
-Hawaii Five-0
-NCIS: Los Angeles
-Blue Bloods
-Madam Secretary
-2 Broke Girls
-Mom
-Scorpion
-NCIS: New Orleans
-NCIS
-The Big Bang Theory

Cancelled/Ending:
-Angel from Hell
-Mike & Molly
-The Good Wife
-Person of Interest (final season airing in Summer)

Predictions:
-Life In Pieces CBS’s second highest-rated comedy, highest-rated new comedy of the season. Renewal is just a formality now
-Supergirl Worst show I watched last year, but its numbers are good—and consistent—enough for a renewal
-Criminal Minds Last-minute contract-wrangling is the only thing keeping this from being renewed
-Criminal Minds: Beyond Borders Good-enough numbers for a renewal
-The Odd Couple Steady performer getting ratings right around CBS’s scripted average. Renewal looks likely.
-Limitless Faded in the last half of its season, but may still have a pulse yet.
-Code Black Prognosis: Not great, but may escape death.
-Rush Hour Will quietly play out its remaining episodes and be quickly forgotten.
-CSI: Cyber It’s dead, stick a fork in it

CW
The CW took what may have been an unprecedented step and renewed its entire slate of shows that had aired an episode. Yep, even the lowest-rated broadcast television show on the air, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. The only show awaiting its fate is Containment. They must’ve not been very confident in it to slate it for a late-Spring premiere (granted they gave it the network’s strongest lead-in with The Flash). If it pulls consistently decent numbers (0.5ish 18-49 rating) they may keep it alive, even if just for a Summer run). Of course this causes problems when trying to make room on the schedule for new shows come Fall. But better to have that as your problem than having too much holes in your schedule from shows that bombed.
Renewed: Crazy Ex-Girlfriend; Reign; Jane the Virgin; The Vampire Diaries; iZombie; The 100; DC’s Legends of Tomorrow; The Originals; Supernatural; Arrow; The Flash
Predictions:
-Containment It got an okay 0.5 premiere rating, however it doesn’t have the cachet of CW’s other low-rated shows which are award-winning (really) and critically-acclaimed. Also, it comes from the WB which doesn’t help. Long version: CW is co-owned by CBS & WB, the best-performing shows on the CW come from WB while the lower-rated ones are CBS productions, whose existences are effectively subsidized to keep up appearances of CW being co-owned. A lower-rated CBS show has a better chance of survival than a WB one because of this. Prospects, based on one episode, look murky.

FOX
Renewed:
-New Girl
-Rosewood
-Lucifer
-Scream Queens
-Bob’s Burgers
-Bones
-The Last Man on Earth
-Brooklyn Nine-Nine
-Gotham
-The Simpsons
-Empire

Cancelled/Ending:
-Minority Report

Predictions:
-The X-Files The only thing deciding if this returns is if the actors playing Mulder and Scully decide they’re game for another season
-Family Guy The only thing holding up a formal renewal is contract-wrangling (not atypical for older shows)
-Grandfathered It’s the least low-rated of FOX’s low-rated rookie comedies. This may eke out a renewal on inauspicious qualification, but I say kill it. Start with a clean slate. It’s doubtful 0.9 ratings will do much next year, even if just a schedule filler for shows that bomb even worse.
-Cooper Barrett’s Guide to Surviving Life Dead show walking
-Bordertown ” “
-The Grinder FOX may renew this warmly-received comedy basis on its critical merits. I wouldn’t hold my breath.
-Sleepy Hollow Kill it. This show is unwatchable now and having lost one of the few not-shittified things in the show will make a 4th season unbearable. FOX may give it a shortened finale season order just to have *something* to stick on Fridays, but just roll the dice rather than make fans of the show suffer though another season of what used to be an entertaining show.
-Second Chance It’s basically cancelled. No second chances here (sorry, couldn’t help myself)

NBC
Renewed:
-Grimm
-Shades of Blue
-The Blacklist
-Superstore
-Chicago PD
-Law & Order: SVU
-Chicago Med
-Chicago Fire
-Blindspot

Cancelled/de facto Cancelled:
-Truth be Told
-The Player
-Heroes Reborn
-You, Me, and the Apocalypse

Predictions:
-Crowded It does okay on Sundays, but it’s doubtful its ratings/reviews will convince the powers that be at NBC to bring it back for a second season.
-The Carmichael Show Also draws marginal ratings, but warmly received by critics, and the closest thing NBC has a to a buzzy comedy. Things look good for TCS.
-The Mysteries of Laura The mystery continues, how is this show still alive? It draws decent, downright good viewership but skews older and, thus, suffers from consistently low 18-49 viewership. Still, it’s pretty damn consistent in leading off the night for NBC. Bring it back for another not-quite-full season order until NBC finds something better to take its place on Wednesdays
-Game of Silence Only 2 episodes in, it will not live long
-Heartbeat Another one looking to have a short life on TV
-Undateable This unwatchable show did numbers right on the edge of cancellation throughout its Friday run. I wouldn’t be surprised either way, but cancel this awful show
-Telenovela It’s conceivable this show could come back, but doesn’t look likely. Depends how strong NBC’s comedy pilots are

2016 Upfronts Preview Pt 1: The Pilots

This is the first part in my preview of upfronts, the annual event in May when broadcast TV networks present their upcoming television schedules to advertisers in NYC in hopes of creating interest in new/returning shows so companies will buy airtime during these shows for commercials.

For the uninitiated, pilot season is the late-Winter-to-Spring scramble when broadcast networks (CBS, NBC, FOX, ABC, CW) sift through their pilots (first episode) to decide which ones are good enough that it’s worth ordering more episodes of. There’s usually a glut of pilots to go through (I got the below pilots from The Hollywood Reporter’s annual list), the vast majority of which are never seen by the public. In a few cases, pilots get retooled and pushed for next year for the same or different network.

Based on the descriptions, cast, and crew of the pilots under consideration, here are the pilots that sound intriguing or fitting their respective networks. OF COURSE just judging by the descriptions, cast, and crew without seeing the actual pilot is going into this process semi-blind. Who would’ve thought four seasons ago that a contemporary prequel to Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho would still be such a delight to watch four years in.

But, being the TV junkie that I am, here are my thoughts on the pilots.

**means picked up for series order**

ABC
Comedy
•Downward Dog
“Based on the web series of the same name, centers on a woman, Nan (Allison Tolman) and her dog. The twist is that it features a Modern Family-style confessional device — for the dog.”
This sounds real fucking not good, but dammit who am I to turn down more screentime for Allison Tolman (Molly Solverson from season 1 of Fargo).

•Hail Mary
Logline: A young small-town mayor named Mary Wolf (Happy Endings’ Casey Wilson) has dysfunctional siblings, a dying father, disgruntled citizens, a nearly bankrupt town and the mafia breathing down her neck. Only a miracle can help her — so she fakes one. Based on the Austrian Broadcasting Corp. series Braunschlag, created by David Schalko.
Even shows starring Casey Wilson that aren’t entirely successful are still semi-enjoyable (see: NBC’s Marry Me from last year). Also, this one has Retta from Parks & Rec, which I’m hoping plays the role of the mob. This could work.

•Pearl
Logline: When a larger-than-life family matriarch finds out she has cancer, she becomes intent on controlling and orchestrating every aspect of her family’s life before she dies.
Cast: Candice Bergen, Zachary Knighton (Happy Endings), Kathleen Rose Perkins (Episodes)
Candice Bergan and Kathleen Rose Perkins (who is enjoyable in Showtime’s Episodes). Sure, I’ll give it a shot.

•The Second Fattest Housewife in Westport
Logline: A family comedy narrated by Katie, a strong-willed mother raising her flawed family in a wealthy town filled with “perfect” wives and their “perfect” offspring.
Only for the name

Drama
•Conviction
Logline: Tells the story of Carter Morrison (Agent Carter’s Hayley Atwell), the brilliant but ne’er-do-well daughter of a former president, who is blackmailed into taking a job as the head of Los Angeles’ newly created Conviction Integrity Unit. She, along with her team of lawyers, investigators and forensic experts, work together to examine cases where there’s credible suspicion that the wrong person may have been convicted of a crime.
I’m torn, if this gets picked up it’ll most likely mean the superb-but-lightly-watched Agent Carter gets cancelled. But even if this isn’t picked up, Agent Carter doesn’t look likely to return for a third season. I’m interested in this solely for Hayley Atwell. Also, on one hand, one of Conviction’s Executive Producers worked on Netflix’s Jessica Jones; but on the other hand, another Executive Producer worked on FOX’s The Following.

•The Death of Eva Sofia Valdez
Logline: An immigrant who rose from rags to riches, Eva Sofia Valdez (Suits’ Gina Torres, in second position), is a celebrated Miami entrepreneur and a champion for immigrant rights. But her success is fueled by an insatiable ambition that could destroy her family, a vendetta against the lover who betrayed her, and ghosts from the past who threaten to reveal the dark sacrifices Eva Sofia made to attain the American Dream. Described as MacBeth with a Cuban twist.
Sure

**Designated Survivor**
Logline: Centers on a lower-level U.S. cabinet member (Kiefer Sutherland) who is suddenly appointed president after a catastrophic attack during the State of the Union kills everyone above him in the presidential line of succession. The series is described as a family drama wrapped around a conspiracy thriller about an ordinary man in an extraordinary situation.
Cast: Kiefer Sutherland, Natasha McElhone, Maggie Q, Kal Penn, Italia Ricci, Adan Canto, LaMonica Garrett
Without having actually watched this yet I’ll go ahead and say Battlestar Galactica already did this particular plotline better

•The Jury
Logline: The anthology series is described as 12 Angry Men meets podcast Serial, The Jury follows a single murder trial as seen through the eyes of the individual jurors, exploring the biases and experiences that influence the jurors’ judgment, and how their preconceptions change along the way.
Like Conviction, I mention this bland-ish-sounding drama only because it stars The Good Wife’s Archie Panjabi. I mean, a Kalinda Sharma spin-off sounds better, but I’ll take this for now.

•Marvel’s Most Wanted
Logline: A second spinoff from Agents of SHIELD, the drama follows the adventures of Bobbi Morse (aka Mockingbird) and Lance Hunter.
Synergize baby

•Broken (formerly untitled Meaghan Oppenheimer)
Logline: A ruthless Dallas divorce attorney’s life begins to unravel when her emotionally damaged, love-addicted sister resurfaces triggering self-destructive tendencies and exposing long-hidden family secrets.
Cast: Anna Paquin, Penelope Ann Miller, Blair Underwood, T.R. Knight, Charity Wakefield, Thad Luckinbill, Zeb Sanders, Enrique Murciano
40% chance it works, 60% chance it’s a forgettable bland piece of nothing

CBS
Comedy
•My Time/Your Time
Logline: Based on Avital Ash’s web series 7P/10E, the comedy the relationship of a young couple (Jane Levy, Nicholas Braun) as they begin dating long distance.

**Untitled Kevin James (13-episode production commitment)**
Logline: A newly retired police officer (Kevin James) looks forward to spending more quality time with his wife (Erinn Hayes) and three kids (Taylor Spreitler) but figures out he faces more challenges at home than he ever did on the streets.

•Untitled Matt LeBlanc comedy (formerly I’m Not Your Friend)
Logline: A contractor (Matt LeBlanc) learns that raising his kids is more challenging than expected when his wife (The Office’s Jenna Fischer) goes back to work.
Not particular optimistic given the middling results the last time CBS made a comedy starring a former Friends star, but this’ll probably be picked up for the name recognition and that CBS-owned Showtime’s Episodes (in which LeBlanc stars) is nearing the end of its run and CBS probably wants to stay in business with him

Drama
•Drew
Logline: A contemporary take on the character from the iconic Nancy Drew book series. Now in her 30s, Nancy (Person of Interest’s Sarah Shahi) is a detective for the NYPD where she investigates and solves crimes using her uncanny observational skills, all while navigating the complexities of life in a modern world.
Sounds like another cookie-cutter CBS procedural to me, but this comes with built in “brand awareness” as they say, plus there’s more buzz surrounding this than most other pilots given the diverse casting for Nancy Drew. Name the show “Nancy Drew” instead of “Drew” though ffs, lest it get confused for a show starring Drew Carey

•MacGyver
Logline: A reimagining of the television series of the same name, following a 20-something MacGyver (X-Men: Apocalypse’s Lucas Till) as he gets recruited into a clandestine organization where he uses his knack for solving problems in unconventional ways to help prevent disasters from happening.
•Training Day
Logline: Described as a reimagining that begins 15 years after the 2001 film left off, the reboot centers on an idealistic young African-American police officer (Justin Cornwell) who is appointed to an elite squad of the LAPD where he is partnered with a seasoned, morally ambiguous detective (Bill Paxton).
Honestly, at this point, CBS is probably better off plowing through prior IP to mine for potential shows than trying to come up with their own look-alike procedurals. I mean, they’re already doing that this year with their current crop of rookie dramas: Supergirl, Criminal Minds: Beyond Borders, Code Black, Rush Hour, Limitless which are based on a comic book, current CBS show, documentary short, movie, and movie respectively. Network television has given up on original TV shows not based on any pre-existing IP because the risk/reward is just not worth it to them.

CW
CW renewed its entire slate of shows currently airing, which means it has less room than usual for new shows on its schedule even though there’s a couple of potentially intriguing prospects among its pilots
Drama
•Frequency
Logline: In this reimagining of the New Line Cinema film, a female police detective (The Flash’s Peyton List) in 2016 discovers she is able to speak via a ham radio with her estranged father (also a detective) who died in 1996. They forge a new relationship while working together on an unresolved murder case, but unintended consequences of the “butterfly effect” wreak havoc in the present day.

•No Tomorrow
Logline: When a risk-averse, straight arrow, female procurement manager (Tori Anderson) at an Amazon-like distribution center falls in love with a freewheeling man who lives life to the fullest because he believes the apocalypse is imminent, to comedic and poignant results they embark on a quest together to fulfill their individual bucket lists. Based on the Brazilian format.

•Riverdale
Logline: Set in present day and based on the iconic Archie Comics characters, Riverdale is a surprising and subversive take on Archie (KJ Apa), Betty (Lili Reinhart, Surviving Jack), Veronica (Camila Mendes), Jughead Jones (Cole Sprouse, The Suite Life of Zack and Cody), Josie (Ashleigh Murray) and their friends, exploring the surrealism of small town life — the darkness and weirdness bubbling beneath Riverdale’s wholesome façade. Based on the characters from Archie Comics.
Greg Berlanti is already behind the CW’s 3 biggest shows along with CBS’s Supergirl and NBC’s Mysteries of Laura and Blindspot. Keep in business with him

•Transylvania
Logline: In 1880, a headstrong young woman (Laura Brent) in search of her missing father ventures from NYC to Transylvania where she teams with a wrongfully disgraced Scotland Yard detective (Luke Allen-Gale). Together they witness the births of the most famous monsters and villains in history.

•Untitled Mars drama
Logline: A team of explorers arrive on Mars to join the first human colony on the planet, only to discover that their predecessors have vanished. Led by a woman whose husband is among the missing, the colonists are forced to change their mission from exploration and settlement to investigation and survival, while navigating the hostile planet and their own personal demons.
This honestly sounds intriguing, let’s just hope it’s done well

FOX
FOX has the opposite problem as CW in that, with American Idol ending, the network has a whole lot of real estate to fill up with shows, which they’re hoping will have a better success rate than the past season’s crop of new shows.
Comedy
•Chad: An American Boy
Logline: A 14-year-old boy (SNL’s Nasim Pedrad) in the throes of adolescence is tasked with being the man of the house, which leaves him with all the responsibilities of being an adult without any of the perks.
With a premise like that and starring Nasim Pedrad, how could I NOT be at least a little bit curious with how this pans out?
Pushed off-cycle

•Charity Case
Logline: When Hailey (Courteney Cox) inherits her late billionaire husband’s charity, she quickly finds that changing the world is far less glamorous than she had imagined.
To have Courteney Cox’s name to plaster in ads promoting the show does half the heavy lifting in trying to get a new show noticed amidst the glut of premieres come September. Whether it’s any good is an entirely different thing.

•The Enforcers
Logline: A female buddy comedy about two wildly different single mothers with dreams of being police officers who find themselves partnered as inspectors in the Code Enforcement Department. Instead of fighting crime, they have been relegated to handling petty code breaking, like noise complaints, tree trimming and water misuse.
Cast: Christine Woods, Niecy Nash, Ian Gomez, Ryan Hansen, Matt Oberg
FOX probably wants to stay in business with Niecy Nash, whom many critics singled out as a highlight in the otherwise-awful Scream Queens. Being recently Emmy-nominated for HBO’s Getting On doesn’t hurt.

•Making History (formerly untitled Sharpe/Lord & Miller, aka In Time)
Logline: Centers on three unlikely friends find an even less likely way to travel through time, irreversibly complicating their personal lives in 2016, as the great moments of the past collide with today’s popular culture — with hilarious and quite disastrous results.
Cast: Adam Pally, Leighton Meester, Yassir Lester (writer on Carmichael Show, Girls)
FOX already ordered to series one of the pilots from Phil Lord & Christopher Miller, the writer-director-producer powerhouse duo behind such hits as Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs; The LEGO Movie; Last Man on Earth; 21 & 22 Jump Street, etc etc. Going two-for-two will only strengthen the bond between Fox and this lucrative pair

•The Mick
Logline: The comedy revolves around a hard-living, foul-mouthed woman Kaitlin Olson (It’s Always Sunny) who moves to affluent Greenwich, Conn., to raise the spoiled kids of her wealthy sister who has fled the country to avoid a federal indictment. She quickly learns what everyone else already knows: other people’s children are awful.
This will be quite a groundbreaking show if it gets ordered to series for being the first show to star a bird

**Son of Zorn (animated/live-action pilot presentation)**
Logline: Centers on an animated Barbarian father who comes home for the first time in 10 years to his live-action son and ex-wife. He finds that reconnecting with his family, struggling through his mundane office job and dealing with the banality of suburban life is much harder than waging actual war in his distant, animated world.
Cast: Jason Sudeikis, Cheryl Hines, Tim Meadows, Artemis Pebdani, Johnny Pemberton

•Untitled Laura Steinel comedy (aka HR)
Logline: Centers around Jane (Judy Greer), who is caught between trying to manage her charmingly incompetent human resources department and a new eccentric CEO (Patton Oswalt) who dreams of bringing the New Jersey plastics plant into the future.
Only for you, Patton Oswalt, only for you

Drama
•24: Legacy
Logline: The new take features an all-new cast of characters and will be structured in the same style of the original series. Legacy revolves around a military hero’s (Corey Hawkins, Straight Outta Compton) return to the U.S. and the trouble that follows him back — compelling him to ask CTU for help in saving his life, and stopping what potentially could be one of the largest-scale terror attacks on American soil.
See above note about IP

•The Exorcist
Logline: A modern reinvention inspired by William Blatty’s 1971 book, the drama is a propulsive, serialized psychological thriller following two very different men tackling one family’s case of horrifying demonic possession, and confronting the face of true evil.
On one hand, I’m more optimistic about this than most of the other pilots. On the other hand, TV hasn’t delivered on a quality true horror show in, erm, ever?

**Prison Break**
Logline: A new chapter based on the original series about a guy determined to prove his convicted brother’s innocence and save him from death row by creating an elaborate plan to escape from prison.

•Recon
Logline: A rookie FBI agent (Revolution’s Tracy Spiridakos) embeds herself in a suspected terrorist family.
I mean this could be alright…maybe…possibly…

**Shots Fired**
Logline: Explores the aftermath of racially charged shootings in a small town in Tennessee. Sanaa Lathan stars an expert investigator who digs into the cases, alongside a special prosecutor (Stephan James) sent to the town by the Department of Justice. The pair must navigate the media attention, public debate and social unrest that comes with such volatile cases as they seek justice before the divided town erupts.

•Star
Logline: The Atlanta-set drama revolves around three girls who come together to form a band. Star details their rise to the top in a challenging business. While Empire is told from the point of view of music executives, Star will be told from the perspective of the artist.
Stay in business with Empire creator Lee Daniels, etc etc

NBC
Comedy
•Crunch Time
Logline: A hybrid game show/comedy that intercuts between a real game show and the scripted workplace that centers on an up-and-coming producer (Andrea Anders) trying to wrangle the volatile host (Craig Ferguson).
Cast: Craig Ferguson, Kyle Howard (My Boys), Kellee Stewart (My Boys), Andrea Anders, Caitlin McGee, Eugene Cordero
Team: W/EP Betsy Thomas (My Boys); EO Phil Gurin, David Janollari
Between the intriguing format and this looking like a reunion of the enjoyable TBS comedy My Boys, I’m far more intrigued by this than any other comedy in the current pilot season

**Good Place**
Logline: Centers on a woman (Kristen Bell) wrestling with what it means to be good.
Ordered for 13 episodes

•Imaginary Friend
Logline: The winner of NBC’s Playground comedy initiative, centers on Wendy (Megan Neuringer), an intelligent yet unmotivated woman who discovers a special and unexpected way of dealing with her mediocre life.
•Sunset PPL
Logline: The winner of NBC’s Playground Comedy initiative, the pilot centers on a group of millennial friends who struggle with their own made-up rules for personal and professional success.
At this point, developing a show from some Comedy initiative just might be more promising than whatever the audience-tested-to-death shmuck the corporate overlords try to make as blandly palatable as possible for a broad audience

•Untitled Amy Poehler/Charlie Grandy
Logline: After years of partying that earned him the “black sheep” label, Karl (Nico Evers-Swindell) returns home to compete with his brother for the family throne.
Executive Producer Amy Poehler, sold.

•Untitled Matt Hubbard
Logline: Loosely based on Hubbard’s life, the comedy centers on a guy (Chris Smith) who learns to manage the expectations and strong cultural traditions of his in-laws after he moves his family to his wife’s (Elizabeth Ho) hometown.
Cast: Jack McBrayer, Chris Smith, Elizabeth Ho, Francois Chau, Susan Chuang, Concetta Tomei
Team: W/EP Matt Hubbard (30 Rock); EP/showrunner Mike Schur (Parks and Recreation); EP David Miner;
Matt Hubbard, Mike Schur, Jack McBrayer. Sold

•The Trial
Logline: A serialized comedy following a young big-city lawyer (Nick D’Agosto) and his oddball defense team during a high-profile murder trial in a small southern town.
Cast: Nick D’Agosto, John Lithgow, Sherri Shepherd, Steven Boyer, Jayma Mays, Krysta Rodriguez
I want to say no, but the cast is decent

Drama
•Blacklist spinoff — set to air May 12 as a planted episode
Logline: Being kept under wraps.
Cast: Famke Janssen, Edi Gathegi, Tawny Cypress
Sure, why not. You already have a million Chicago [insert department name here] shows

•Chicago Justice (planted spinoff of Chicago PD; formerly known as Chicago Law)
Logline: A spinoff featuring ADA characters appearing on Chicago PD.
As I was saying…

**Taken**
Logline: A modern-day prequel to Luc Besson’s feature of the same name that starred Liam Neeson as a retired CIA operative Bryan Mills on a one-man mission to save his kidnapped daughter. The series will illustrate how a young Bryan (Vikings’ Clive Standen) develops his skills.
I’m gonna go ahead and predict this bombs. Taken only worked because of Liam Neeson, and even then to diminishing returns with the sequels

•Midnight, Texas
Logline: Based on the New York Times best-selling trilogy from Charlaine Harris, the drama is described as Twin Peaks meets True Blood in Midnight, Texas, a remote town where your neighbor could be a vampire, a witch, a werewolf and even an angel. Mystery, horror and romance combine to both enthrall and frighten any outsiders who decide to venture into this unusual place.
I’ve read so many pilot descriptions I’m at the point where I just go ‘eh, fuck it’

•Time
Logline: The high-octane drama follows an unlikely trio who travel through time to battle a master criminal intent on altering the fabric of human history with potentially catastrophic results.
Cast: Matt Lanter (90210), Abigail Spencer (Rectify), Goran Visnjic, Claudia Doumit, Paterson Joseph, Malcolm Barrett, Sakina Jaffrey
Team: W/EP Shawn Ryan
Shawn Ryan’s (The Shield, Last Resort, Terriers) gotta get another hit/quality show sooner or later…right?

2015 Upfronts Pt. 3b: If I Scheduled CBS for 2015-16

I’ve looked at the chances of this season’s shows being cancelled/renewed. I’ve looked at some of the pilots. I’ve discussed at length what I might do if I were in charge of scheduling ABC. Now it’s time to take a look at CBS.

I touched a bit on CBS’s shaky future when looking at the pilots. They’ve had a lot of shows this season that are hits. All of them, pretty much are hits. CBS regularly dominates in total viewers, pulling in more viewers than the other networks combined. Thing is, the audience skews old. For better or worse, for whatever reason, the key demographic advertisers care about when it comes to broadcast television is the 18-49 demographic. The higher the 18-49 rating, the more they’re willing to shell out for a commercial slot. CBS may dominate in total viewers regularly (they’ve won something like 12 of the last 13 TV seasons in total viewers), but their shows skew old, and that old skew is not ‘youthening’ up (down?) anytime soon.

There’s the stereotype about CBS programming, its dramas are all spin-offs of some other crime/murderporn show, and its comedies are laugh-track, stale-joke shows. No matter the perception, for a long time, that worked. By simple virtue of having the most viewers, they naturally also had the most 18-49 viewers. That is becoming less and less the case every season. This season has seen many CBS stalwarts come down to Earth. The latest Big Bang Theory season finale finished down 20% from last year. The latest episode of NCIS pulled in 14M viewers compared to The Voice’s 9M. Totally got it beat, right? Not in the all-important 18-49 demo, they tied at 2.0. This is the demo that determines how financially-valuable a show is. And right now its right in line with a show pulling in 60% less total viewers. This is a show that pulled in 3’s and 4’s, that started out the season with a 2.9. Here’s the thing, for a show in its 12th season, that is really quite good, especially in today’s TV landscape. But NCIS is indicative of many of CBS’s shows, they’re in their umpteenth season, on a slow descent in the ratings, still pulling in respectable numbers, but CBS hasn’t really hit it big with any of its new shows in recent years. While ABC has a good mix of old, middle-aged, and young shows, CBS’s best-performing shows are shows it launched 5+ years ago and its newer shows have been middling at best.

These shows have life in them yet, but CBS is a 2nd place network. ABC (3rd) is nipping at its heels. CBS may remain in 2nd for seasons to come due to FOX & NBC’s struggles, but really, they want to be 1st and to do that they need to launch 18-49 hits, without immediately alienating their current audience or they’ll end up the network version of JC Penny.

Sunday
Current Schedule:60 Minutes/Madam Secretary/The Good Wife/Battle Creek
Sunday is a fixer-upper. Madam Secretary is another prime example of the double-edge sword of CBS programming, it pulls in perfectly fine ratings in total viewership, but man oh man does this show skew old. It started off decently with a 2.0 rating (far from spectacular given how hard CBS was pushing this show) ended with a 1.0 for its last two episodes of the season. That. is. miserable. Multiple comedies have been cancelled recently pulling in ratings a little higher than a 1.0 and a) they’re on networks worse off than CBS & b) comedies are less expensive to produce than hour-long dramas. CBS inexplicably renewed it in a wave of freshmen renewals earlier in the season, and boy they must be kicking themselves for it.
All this is to say, they probably can’t stop the bleeding, but they need stave it off. When Fox renewed Glee for 2 seasons and then saw its ratings plummet, they cut the episode order for its last season and shipped it off to Fridays.
Do that. Order 13 episodes and push it elsewhere. Sundays & Thursdays are the most valuable nights and CBS’s Sunday shows have been 3rd/4th-place finishers in the Spring.
60 Minutes usually drops off in Spring, but when it has football in front it can pull in ratings. There’s bigger problems then messing with a show that’s been in its time slot since dinosaurs roamed the Earth. CBS moved The Amazing Race to Fridays and, of course, its ratings dropped, and not to an acceptable depressed-Friday-ratings standard either. TAR was doing perfectly fine on Sundays before getting shipped off. Bring it back and see how it does. It couldn’t do worse than Madam Secretary. It serves as a segue from a news show to scripted shows, appealing to both CBS’s broad/older audience while not putting off the 18-49 demo.
Sundays is admittedly a difficult place to launch a drama, especially if you’re on network television. Cablers from AMC, HBO, Showtime, and even FX this past summer have staked their claim on Sunday nights as the place for prestige & boundary-pushing television. CBS should take its biggest, buzziest show and stick it in the 3rd hour: Supergirl. Sundays in fall particularly skew more male between Football, Walking Dead, and other testosterone-infused shows. While Supergirl will pull in comic book fans (a decidedly male-skewing demographic), it could very well intrigue and get sampling from females watching the first female superhero-starring network show in…forever?
Plant a flag on Sunday nights and follow up Supergirl with another buzzy show: Limitless.

Monday
Current Schedule: 2 Broke Girls/Mike & Molly/Scorpion/NCIS: Los Angeles
CBS’s Thursday Night Football gives it a chance to temporarily relocate its biggest comedy to help bolster its Mondays. Other than that, I wouldn’t tinker with Mondays too much; while it hovers around 2nd-3rd place for the night, Scorpion is probably the most stable of CBS’s new shows this past season. Additionally, moving NCIS: Los Angeles in its 10/9 o’clock hour, while leading to a bit of a steeper-than-predicted ratings depreciation, has managed to shore up an hour CBS has had trouble with. Its ratings have mostly stabilized. The question becomes which new comedy to have follow TBBT on Mondays? CBS hasn’t ordered too many comedies thusfar (that might change when they officially announce their schedule at their upfronts presentation), but out of the two ordered so far, Jane Lynch-starring Angel from Hell sounds better. After TBBT moves back to Thursdays, Angel from Hell will probably mesh at least decently with its presumed lead-in 2 Broke Girls.

Tuesday
Current Schedule: NCIS/NCIS: New Orleans/Person of Interest
Tuesdays is mostly firm night for CBS, but its ratings slide from the beginning to end of the 2014-15 season are worrying. The back-to-back NCIS programming might be burning out audiences who may getting their fill of NCIS after 1 hour of the show. Move NCIS: New Orleans to another night. After spending its entire 12 seasons anchoring Tuesdays, it may be time to shift NCIS (this was also right around the same time in CSI’s life that CBS moved it from its Thursday night perch). Move NCIS an hour later and help it launch a new show (sorry Person of Interest, in my scenario it gets cancelled). Put another buzzy movie-to-TV show adaptation into the 8/7c slot,, Rush Hour will probably get some sampling for its initial episode, and will counterprogram NBC’s The Voice in the same hour. That it’s a cop show will fit in with NCIS. Place Code Black, CBS’s medical drama in the 10/9 o’clock hour

Wednesday
Current Schedule: Survivor/Criminal Minds/CSI: Cyber
The first 2 hours are good enough for now, though CBS has been having some struggles in the last hour on Wednesdays. Reports are that CSI: Cyber has been renewed. Whether or not it has, let’s not place it back in its old time slot where it premiered modestly and by the end of its run was routinely beaten by competition on NBC (Chicago P.D.) and ABC (Nashville). NCIS: New Orleans goes into the 10/9 hour to stem the bleeding and hopefully stabilize the hour.

Thursday
Current Schedule: The Big Bang Theory/The Odd Couple/Mom/TBBT repeat/Elementary
With the relative dearth of comedy orders from CBS coupled with its struggles maintaining 2 hours of comedies on Thursday (it currently has a TBBT repeat regularly scheduled for the night) AND its many drama renewals, it’s conceivable that it will cut back an hour of comedies on Thursday.
But, I’m more bearish than bullish on the likelihood of that possibility so sticking with the 2 hours of comedy that CBS currently has, and assuming The Odd Couple gets renewed (it had a pretty good hold of TBBT’s audience until it tapered off a bit towards the tail end of its run), have TBBT & Mom continue leading off the 7(/8) and 8(/9) hours, with The Odd Couple sandwiched between them and and Mom leading out to new family comedy Life in Pieces. Initially I was adamant that Elementary would move to Friday (and still think that very well could be the case), but given how I’ve scheduled the preceding days and not seeing any chance of Madam Secretary moving to Thursday, I reluctantly keep Elementary in its place. It’s definitely a prime candidate for a move to Friday given its trending downward ratings.

Friday
Current Schedule: The Amazing Race/Hawaii Five-0/Blue Bloods
Hawaii Five-0 could very well get cancelled, but I’m a bit more optimistic about its survival chances. I don’t see Madam Secretary getting a chance to lead in to any programs so stick it into the last hour and shift the current scripted shows on Friday back an hour.

2015-16 CBS television schedule
new shows in italics

Sunday: 60 Minutes/The Amazing Race/Supergirl/Limitless
Monday: The Big Bang Theory/Angel from Hell/Scorpion/NCIS: Los Angeles
(After football: 2 Broke Girls replaces TBBT)
Tuesday: Rush Hour/NCIS/Code Black
Wednesday: Survivor/Criminal Minds/NCIS: New Orleans
Thursday: Thursday Night Football
(After football: The Big Bang Theory/The Odd Couple/Mom/Life in Pieces/Elementary)
Friday: Hawaii Five-0/Blue Bloods/Madam Secretary

Last Year’s Upfront Preview:
Part 3: CBS
Part 3: ABC
Part 2: Pilot Preview
Part 1: Cancel/Renew

2015 Upfronts Preview Pt. 2: Shaping Up the Pilots

This is the second part of my preview of upfronts, the annual event in early May when broadcast networks present their upcoming television schedules to advertisers in NYC in the hope of creating interest in new/returning shows so companies buy airtime for commercials. This is usually when the fates of pretty much all your favorite shows will be revealed (renewed or canceled), which I went over here.

For the uninitiated, pilot season is the late-Winter-to-Spring scramble when broadcast networks (CBS, NBC, FOX, ABC, CW) sift through their pilots (first episode) to decide which ones to order to series. There’s usually a glut of pilots to go through (here’s a list of pilots under consideration via The Hollywood Reporter and Variety), with the vast majority never seen by the public. In a minority of cases, some pilots get retooled and pushed for next year for the same or different networks.

Based on the descriptions, cast, and crew of the pilots under consideration, here are the pilots I think sound the best quality-wise or fitting and potentially benefitting their respective networks. OF COURSE just judging by the descriptions, cast, and crew without seeing the actual pilot is going into this process semi-blind. Who would’ve thought a show about “…a hard-working, religious young Latina woman whose family tradition and vow to save her virginity until her marriage…is shattered when a doctor mistakenly artificially inseminates her during a checkup” would wind up being a one of the most critically acclaimed shows of the season (airing on the CW no less), picking up a Golden Globe for star Gina Rodriguez along with a Peabody Award for the show amongst numerous other nominations and honors.

But, being the TV junkie that I am, here are my thoughts on the pilots.

In the last part of my upfronts preview (coming later this week/early next week), I will work my way through each individual broadcast network and opine how each one should schedule their 2015-16 television season to plug ratings gaps and build on ratings momentum. Backseat-executive-ing all the way.

**means picked up for series order**

ABC
Ugh, reading through these pilots was by and large an uninspiring experience, especially so in the case of ABC whose comedies seems to lean very heavily on audience’s potential nostalgia for former TV stars. And look how well that’s paid off in recent years with shows centered on Michael J. Fox, Sean Hayes, Katherine Heigl, Debra Messing, etc etc.
With that said, ABC comes into upfronts with a strong hand, granted they may end up with 3rd or 4th place finish in the ratings, but they have a good mix of current shows, from veteran shows still pulling in the ratings (Modern Family, Grey’s Anatomy, The Middle, Castle), to ably-performing middle-aged shows looking to add more seasons to their lucrative syndication value (Once Upon a Time, The Goldbergs, Scandal) and young break-out hits looking to keep up the momentum in future seasons (How to Get Away with Murder, Black-ish). Whereas other networks may be devoid of hits or have too many old (and therefore pricey) shows over the hump ratings-wise, ABC’s hits are spread evenly age-wise, allowing them to be able to straddle the line of caution and adventurousness when selecting pilots.
Comedy
The King of 7B
Logline: “An agoraphobic recluse ventures outside for the first time in 20 years when he spies what could be his soul mate moving into the building across the street. Prentiss Porter will embark on an incredible journey of discovery right outside his front door in this ensemble comedy.”
Cast: Craig Ferguson, Carla Jiminez, Kirby Howell-Baptiste, Amir Talai, Marin Hinkle, Ione Sky (guest)
Had to wade through 8 of the most generic-sounding shows to finally read something that sounds new

The Muppets
“A contemporary, documentary-style show that — for the first time ever — will explore the Muppets’ personal lives and relationships, both at home and at work, as well as romances, break-ups, achievements, disappointments, wants and desires; a more adult Muppet show, for kids of all ages.”
ABC is owned by Disney, and Disney is all about that synergy. After the relative box office disappointment of Muppets Most Wanted, Disney will strive to keep the Muppets in public consciousness and may figure the gang of felt animals may be better served by a television series

Drama
The Advocate
“Tough, resourceful and at the top of her game, a type-A businesswoman (24’s Kim Raver) has a medical scare, only to be dangerously misdiagnosed. She experiences firsthand the hazards of the healthcare system. Shocking her friends and family, she leaves her career behind, becoming instead a brilliant and relentless advocate for anyone caught in the chaotic and ever-changing maze that is modern medicine.”

Boom
“The biggest oil discovery in American history (bigger than Texas and as big as Saudi Arabia) has triggered a geopolitical shift and an economic boom in North Dakota on a scale not seen since the American 1849 Gold Rush. The drama tracks the epic pilgrimage of a young, ambitious couple (Chase Crawford) to the oil fields of the Bakken seeking their fortune and a better life — a classic tale with modern twists. As viewers follow their trials and tribulations in a modern-day “Wild West,” they negotiate a colorful ensemble of roughnecks, grifters, oil barons (Don Johnson), criminals and fellow prospectors against a stark and beautiful backdrop.”
The most ambitious-sounding of ABC’s crop of drama pilots

Broad Squad
“Inspired by true stories, the drama follows the first four women to graduate from Boston’s Police Academy in 1978.”
Cast: Lauren Ambrose, Rutina Wesley, Charlotte Spencer, Cody Horn, Michael Gaston, Kenneth Mitchell, Alberto Frezza, Morgan Spector

The Catch
“Centers on a gutsy female forensic accountant (The Killing’s Mireille Enos) who exposes fraud for a living and has finally found fulfillment both at work and in love until a case comes along that threatens to turn her world upside down.”
Executive Producer: Shonda Rhimes (i.e. Scandal, Grey’s Anatomy, How to Get Away with Murder)
First of all, more Mireille Enos wh00t wh00t. Second, this show comes from Shondaland i.e. the lady who has 3 hit shows on ABC (TGIT) right now, whatever Shonda Rhimes wants, Shonda gets.

The Kingmakers
“When his sister is found dead during her freshman year at an elite Ivy League university, a young man adopts a new identity to infiltrate the school and its century-old secret society — consisting of privileged students, ambitious faculty and high-profile alums — in order to investigate her death.”
Not personally very interested, but it’s a semi-sort-of-spin-off from Revenge and the buzz is this stands a decent shot of getting picked up

L.A. Crime
“A character-driven, true-crime procedural anthology that explores sex, politics and popular culture across various noteworthy eras in L.A. history. Season one focuses on two LA cops in search for a Bonnie & Clyde-esque serial killing team amid the rock-and-roll, coke-infused revelry of the 1980s Sunset Strip.”
The anthology game is hot right now (True Detective, Fargo, American Horror Story), get in on it before another network does

Kings and Prophets
“An epic Biblical saga of faith, ambition and betrayal as told through the eyes of a battle-weary king (Ray Winstone), a powerful and resentful prophet and a resourceful young shepherd on a collision course with destiny.”

Original Sin
“The return of a local politician’s (Joan Allen) young son (The Way, Way Back’s Liam James), formerly presumed dead after disappearing more than a decade earlier, sends shockwaves through his tight knit family. But as the mysterious young man is welcomed back into his community, the neighbor (Andrew McCarthy) sitting in jail for his murder is released and the cop responsible is forced to re-examine what truly happened so many years ago.”
After Joan Allen’s fantastic turn on the final season of The Killing, and a similar-sounding role, I want to see this just for her. It may be a heaping pile of dog dung, but she’ll probably be the least dungy of the lot

Quantico
“A group of young FBI recruits, all with specific reasons for joining, battle their way through training at the Quantico base in Virginia. As we intercut between their hidden pasts and their present training, we also flash-forward to the near future, where one of the recruits will turn out to be a sleeper terrorist responsible for the most devastating terrorist attack on U.S. soil since 9/11.”
Not really high hopes for this, but that twist entices me just enough

CBS
Remember what I said above about some networks having too many old shows deep into their run and not enough new hits to take their place? That’s CBS. Most of CBS’s hits from the 2014-15 season are only modest hits, and while CBS has gone ahead and renewed much of its freshmen shows, some of them have plummeted in the ratings (ahem, Madam Secretary). Yes, CBS is the undisputed leader when it comes to total viewership, and all its new shows do very well in overall viewership. Total viewership, however, does not dictate how much advertisers are willing to pay for a commercial spot, it’s the all-important 18-49 demo rating that determines the price advertisers are willing to pay to air a commercial. The 18-49 rating is exactly what it sounds like, the percentage of those aged 18-49 watching a show. By virtue of having the most-watched shows, CBS often also had the most highly-rated shows in the 18-49 demo. However, as its shows age and go through the natural cycle of shedding viewers deeper into its run and launches shows that skews much older and only rate modestly in the 18-49 demo, CBS is at a crossroads; it’s been at a crossroads for probably a couple seasons now and have a couple more to go before things get detrimental. They need a breakout hit on the scale of Empire, How to Get Away with Murder, The Blacklist, The Flash, Gotham (to an extent) and not the millionth incarnation of NCSI: Jamaica: SD: SUV::
CBS needs a buzzy show that breaks through to all ages and help slow the perception it’s a stodgy, old, criminal-show-porn network. Still, you’ll notice a few on-brand shows here since you can’t push away your current clientele all at once while chasing another demographic, just ask JCPenny.
(Btw, depending who you ask, the reasoning will vary for why the 18-49 demo is so highly sought after by advertisers, from we’re just forming our brand connections to we talk more about what we buy. There’s really no concrete reason that’s been settled on. And yes, there’s been some complaints that those 50+ get shafted and ignored when they usually have more discretionary income. Go figure.)
While some networks may exhibit more patience with older-skewing shows, the 18-49 demo is still the almighty yardstick for a show’s renewal/cancellation prospects. Many a show that pulled in a decent amount of viewers but ranked poorly in the 18-49 demo have been axed in seasons passed (Harry’s Law, Body of Proof))
Comedy
Angel From Hell
“When Amy (Glee’s Jane Lynch) enters Allison’s (Maggie Lawson) life and claims to be her guardian angel, they form an unlikely friendship and Allison can’t be sure if Amy is an angel or just nuts.”
Cast: Jane Lynch, Maggie Lawson, Kyle Bornheimer, Kevin Pollak
People like Jane Lynch, she’s like tall Ellen

Happy Life
“Joe is a family man (Wings’ Steven Weber) who struggles with the fact that everyone around him is pursuing their dreams and enjoying their lives more than he is.”
On-brand for CBS, sounds less bad than the other pilots

Super Clyde — redeveloped from 2013
“A meek, unassuming fast-food worker finds his calling.”
This comes from Greg Garcia. It is single-camera format. Greg Garcia makes good single-camera comedies (Raising Hope, My Name is Earl). CBS Probably wants to keep a relationship with and make good with Garcia after cancelling his previous show halfway through its second season (The Millers). Chances look good

Drama
Code Black
“A medical drama set in the busiest and most notorious ER in the nation (formerly L.A. County) where the extraordinary staff confronts a broken system in order to protect their ideals and the patients who need them the most.”
CBS is apparently on the hunt for a medical procedural. This one stars Oscar & Tony-winning actress Marcia Gay Harden (who was totally the best part of ABC’s Trophy Wife from a season or two ago). This drama is based on a documentary (yes, they adapt shows from documentaries now I guess), so y’know, prestige and shit.

Limitless
“Follows Brian Sinclair (Jake McDorman) as he discovers the power of the mysterious drug NZT, and is coerced into using his newfound drug-enhanced abilities to solve weekly cases for the FBI.”
Yes, based on the movie

Rush Hour
“Based on the New Line feature film trilogy, a stoic, by-the-book Hong Kong police officer (Jon Foo) is assigned to a case in Los Angeles where he’s forced to work with a cocky African-American LAPD officer who has no interest in a partner.”

Sneaky Pete
“Upon leaving prison, a 30-something con man takes cover from his past by assuming the identity of a cellmate. “Sneaky Pete” then hides out from his debtors while working for his new “family’s” bail bond business. There, he uses his considerable charm and criminal prowess to take down bad guys far worse than himself, partnering with a very attractive female “cousin” who has her suspicions about his real motives.”

**Supergirl**
“Born on the planet Krypton, Kara Zor-El (Melissa Benoist) escaped amid its destruction years ago. Since arriving on Earth, she has been hiding the powers she shares with her famous cousin. But now at age 24, she decides to embrace her superhuman abilities and be the hero she was always meant to be. Based on characters from DC Comics”
CBS is the only broadcast network without some sort of superhero show. While it may sound like too many people rushing in to replicate the same thing, CBS needs to get into the game. Crime procedurals are no longer a growth market. A number of CBS’s shows and many, many of the CW’s (which CBS co-owns) comes from WB Studios and they should really take advantage of that relationship to milk the DC comics for some shows.

FOX
Fox lucked the fuck out with Empire: it gained viewership with every. single. one. of its episodes in season 1. It opened with 9.90M viewers and ended with 17.62M with a 6.9 18-49 demo rating. For those who don’t follow ratings like I do, that shit is insane. You have to go back decades to find another show with that kind of growth trajectory. With those kind of numbers, it rivals Big Band Theory, Walking Dead, hell even lower-rated games of Sunday Night Football. All this is to say, if it weren’t for Empire overshadowing the rest of their schedule, Fox would be a punching bag for rival networks as its schedule just fell apart this year. More on that when I play ‘Fantasy TV Schedule’ later on. This means Fox needs to stock up on pilots to make up for its lackluster current offerings and rebuild itself night-by-night.
Comedy
Cooper Barrett’s Guide to Surviving Life
“Celebrates the mistakes and misadventures people make during the years after college before settling down.”
Could work, could suck, I can count the number of good college-set TV shows on one hand finger

Detour
“Inspired by the real life story of Weezer lead singer Rivers Cuomo, a rock star (Ben Aldridge) who made the unexpected choice at the age of 30 to quit his band and go back to college.”

Fantasy Life
“When a hard-working guy (Kevin Connolly) lands his ultimate dream job hosting a fantasy football show, he’s forced to navigate office politics while becoming the star he never thought he could be. Based on ESPN analyst Matthew Berry’s best-selling book Fantasy Life.”
ugh, it’s a “multicamera hybrid” comedy, whatever that means. Multicamera = laugh track = shit

**Scream Queens**
(15-episode straight-to-series order for fall)
“Anthology series revolving around a college campus that’s rocked by a series of murders. New settings and storylines will be featured in subsequent seasons of the anthology series.”
For whatever reason Hollywood Reporter lumped this into the comedy section (it’s a horror-comedy apparently) though I’m assuming it’s an hour-long show

Grandpa (aka untitled John Stamos comedy)
“Stamos stars as a version of himself: a longtime bachelor whose life is upended after he learns he’s a father and grandfather.”
The premise sounds pretty dopey, but c’mon, J. Stamos, guy’s totally likeable

Drama
Minority Report
“Ten years after the end of Precrime in Washington, D.C., one of the three Precogs struggles to lead a “normal” human life, but remains haunted by visions the future, when he meets a detective (Meagan Good) haunted by her past, who just may help him find a purpose to his gift.”

Lucifer
“Bored and unhappy as the Lord of Hell, Lucifer (Rush’s Tom Ellis) resigns his throne and abandons his kingdom for the gorgeous, shimmering insanity of Los Angeles, where he gets his kicks helping the LAPD punish criminals. Based on the characters created by Neil Gaiman, Sam Keith and Mike Dringenberg for DC Entertainment’s Vertigo imprint.”

Frankenstein
“Revolves around Ray Pritchard (True Blood’s Rob Kazinsky/Philip Baker Hall), a morally corrupt retired cop, who is given a second chance at life when he is brought back from the dead. Now younger and stronger, Pritchard will have to choose between his old temptations and his new sense of purpose.”

Studio City
“The story of a young singer’s (newcomer Florence Pugh) path to stardom as she comes of age living with her songwriter father (Will & Grace’s Eric McCormack) — who turns out to be a drug dealer to the stars. Inspired by Krista Vernoff’s real-life experience.”

NBC
NBC will probably end up being the #1 network for the 2014-15 season thanks to airing the Super Bowl along with The Voice and The Blacklist. However, ratings have been slipping for both (especially so in the case of The Blacklist after its move to Thursday). Still, it’s been bolstered by its Chicago Fire/Chicago PD but its woes are really shown by the fact that NBC has been airing 3-4 hours of Dateline in any given week in spring. They got holes to fill.
Also, try to name a comedy airing on NBC right now. exactly.
Comedy
**Coach**
(13-episode straight-to-series order)
“Picks up 18 years after ABC’s Coach went off the air and follows a retired Coach Hayden Fox who is called back to become an assistant coach to his own grown son, who is now the head coach at an Ivy League school in Pennsylvania that is just starting up a new team.”
Ick, why

How We Live
“An anthropologist blogger moves to the suburbs with his wife and quickly discovers the fascinating habitat and mating rituals of a new undiscovered species: his suburban friends and neighbors.”

Sharing
“A workplace comedy about the different groups of people working side by side in a shared office space.”
I might be able to enjoy this by relating to it, but this could very well be a stinker

Strange Calls — redeveloped from ABC in 2014, 2012
“Based on the Australian format, an affable but down on his luck young police officer is transferred to a rural town where — with the help of a peculiar, elderly night watchman — he starts to realize the town has a bizarre supernatural underbelly.”
Cast: Danny Pudi (1st position to Yahoo’s Community), Patrick Brammal, Daniel Stern, Allison Miller, Aliyah Royale
From what I’ve read, NBC execs are pretty high on this show. I like the casting, I’d made remarks about this when reviewing the pilots last year that when I watched the original Aussie version I was intrigued by what an American adaptation would look like and am more intrigued with Pudi and original Aussie castmember Patrick Brammel in it

**Telenovela**
(13-episode straight-to-series order for fall)
“A behind-the-scenes look at what goes into the making of a telenovela. Longoria leads the cast as Ana Maria, the star of Latin America’s most beloved telenovela, who strives to stay on top in a world where the drama off-camera is better than it is on-camera.”

**Untitled Jerrod Carmichael comedy**
(6 episodes)
“Inspired by the stand-up comedian Jerrod Carmichael’s life and relationships with his girlfriend and family.”

Drama
**Blindspot**
“A beautiful woman, with no memories of her past, is found naked in Times Square with her body fully covered in intricate tattoos. Her discovery sets off a vast and complex mystery that immediately ignites the attention of the FBI who begin to follow the road map on her body to reveal a larger conspiracy of crime while bringing her closer to discovering the truth about her identity.”

**Chicago Medical**
“A planted episode in Chicago Fire that focuses on characters who work at the Chicago Medical hospital.”

The Curse of the Fuentes Women
“When a magical and mysterious young man (The Following’s Adan Canto) inexplicably emerges from the ocean, he breathes new passion into the lives of the Fuentes women — the beautiful but lonely Lola, her ailing mother Esperanza and her troubled daughter Soledad.”
Could pair well with the already-ordered ‘Telenovela,’ maybe/maybe not

**Heartbreaker**
Inspired by the life of Dr. Kathy Magliato and based on her book of the same name, Heart Matters is a medical soap that follows the outspoken Alex Panttiere (Melissa George), one of the rare female heart transplant surgeons. Alex brings an innovative eye to treating patients week to week while also balancing the complications of her professional and romantic life.

**Shades of Blue**
13-episode straight-to-series order
“Centers on Harlee McCord (Jennifer Lopez), a single mother and dirty cop recruited to work undercover for the FBI’s anti-corruption task force. Part of a close-knit unit known for its conviction record, Harlee has become compromised by her colleagues — all of whom also pitch in to help raise her daughter — and finds herself faced with the moral dilemma of working against her cop brothers in order to redeem herself.”
A lot of female-skewing shows, NBC’s making a play for more female viewers apparently, will make my potential fantasy scheduling a bit easier

Game of Silence
“Centers on a rising attorney (Revolution’s David Lyons) on the brink of success could lose his perfectly crafted life when his long lost childhood friends threaten to expose a dark secret from their violent past. Based on the Turkish format Suskunlar.”
ehhhhhhhhhhhh

CW
The CW renewed almost its entire scripted line-up save for the almost-certainly-cancelled ‘Hart of Dixie,’ which gives it very little room to work with in ordering new shows, the CW only has 10 hours of television to program per week after all. Still, all of their pilots sound at least a little bit interesting, though the network’ll only have room to pick up one or two of them.
Drama
Cheerleader Death Squad*
“Centers on a disgraced CIA agent-turned-teacher (Reign’s Alan Van Sprang) at a Washington, D.C., prep school. After he realizes his students have high-level access through personal connections, the teacher trains a select few to be his eyes and ears into the world of international espionage and help him earn his way back into the agency.”
c’mon, with a name like that I wanna see at least one episode

Cordon*
“Examines what happens when a deadly epidemic breaks out in Atlanta and a large city quarantine is quickly enforced, leaving those stuck on the inside to fight for their lives. Tells the story of loved ones tragically torn apart, and how the society that grows inside the cordon reveals both the devolution of humanity and the birth of unlikely heroes. Based on the original Belgian series created by Carl Joos.”
This will probably fail in execution

Dead People*
“A down-on-his-luck, semi-alcoholic but roguishly charming cab driver (The Walking Dead’s Andrew J. West) who, after a near-death experience, suddenly has the ability to interact with ghosts, including his late ex-wife (The Lying Game’s Alexandra Chando) who he has never gotten over.”

Tales From the Darkside*
“Reinvention of the horror/fantasy/thriller anthology series based on the 1980s series. Each episode will feature at least one story with a completely different cast.”

Flash/Arrow spin-off
This one’s a shoo-in, probably

Again, just because I listed a pilot here doesn’t necessarily mean I want to watch it, it’s a mix of things that sound interesting to me and also shows that could work well for their respective networks.

Last Year’s Upfront Preview:
Part 2: Pilot Preview
Part 1: Cancel/Renew

2013-14 Television Season in Review

As May comes to a close, another television season has come and gone. And while there’s still plenty to watch on cable, many shows are on summer hiatus now, meaning I can work my way through the first 4 seasons of The Good Wife (and maybe finally, finally get around to Breaking Bad this summer? Maybe? Possibly?) and binge on various other shows.

While I’ve written extensively about the various networks’ successes and failures and how they can mitigate losses or further build momentum in terms of their ratings in my many, many posts previewing the Upfronts, let’s take a look at how they did qualitatively.

*asterisks signifies I watched the whole season (or just about)

CBS & CW
Both are networks I generally don’t care for, with the former being filled with crime/police procedurals and the latter with soapy teen girl melodramas. Buut there’s usually 1-2 new shows per season I’ll give a try on the CW and CBS had a handful of stalwarts (60 Minutes, The Good Wife) or new shows (The Crazy Ones, Hostages) I tried (or kept watching in the case of 60 Minutes).
*The Good Wife: This right now is probably my favorite drama thusfar of the year (2014, not the television year). I had been reading rave reviews for its 5th season, and one night, luckily enough, they aired an episode of The Good Wife an hour early right after 60 Minutes when I watched 60 Minutes on TV and not my laptop for the first time in a long, long time. The stars aligned. And it was apparently one of the best episodes in the entire series. I was awestruck. I’d been missing out on one of the best things on TV. It was one of the most tightly-constructed, well-written, can’t-stop-watching, interesting, utterly watchable episodes of television I’d seen in some time. Watching the two episodes following it felt like a comedown, so I tried the first episodes of the series before starting at the beginning of season 5. The Good Wife has been chugging along for 5 seasons, falling under the radar of flashier, more headline-grabbing shows like Breaking Bad, House of Cards, and True Detective, but damn if this is not one of the smartest, sharply-written shows on television right now. It may not break ground or be as flashy or be as innovative (arguably) as the aforementioned, but what it does it does damn well; from the music to the writing, especially the pacing, it’s just impeccably well-made and excels at some old-school, good ol’ fashioned storytelling with a bevy of well-constructed characters. Thank God CBS renewed it for another season. The episode I watched, by the way, was ‘Hitting the Fan,’ which you would do well to seek out.
And another thing. While I had missed out on 4 seasons of interactions and history between 2 characters, I could feel that history in the scenes the characters shared. One felt very betrayed by the other and I got the sense that there was a lot of history between the two of them that caused the other character’s betrayal to feel that much more weighty.
It’s not some domestic drama about a woman learning to love her cheating husband again or what have you. Its genre is technically a legal drama, but it builds and is so much more than just a legal procedural. A+

*60 Minutes: I’m a news junkie and 60 Minutes still satisfies my news need. Well-reported, long-form stories gets trampled and abandoned on the argumentative, partisan cable news networks but 60 Minutes is an oasis for it, the botched Benghazi story notwithstanding.

*Hostages: On paper this seemed like a nice break from the police procedural-spinoff heavy CBS schedule: a serialized 13-episode show starring Toni Collette (The United States of Tara, The Sixth Sense), Dylan McDermott (The Practice), and Tate Donovan (Damages) about a doctor’s family held hostage unless she follows the captors’ orders that she kill the president when later she performs surgery on him. Too bad the most interesting thing about this show was the description, the execution was botched so badly it became laughably bad (I still watched every episode though halfway through I just started playing it as background noise) D+ For ambition. And Dylan McDermott’s ability to go from 0 to pissed off in 1.2 seconds.

*The Crazy Ones: I’ve never been a huge Robin Williams fan but they made great use of his energy in this show. Throw in a great supporting cast with fantastic chemistry and Sarah Michelle Gellar ends up actually probably being the weakest part of this show (not that she was bad, just dwarfed by a stellar cast). At the beginning of the television season, The Crazy Ones and Brooklyn Nine-Nine were neck-and-neck as my favorite new comedy, unfortunately it became a bit inconsistent as the season wore on. Still had plenty of fun, great episodes, but mixed in were a handful of episodes that lost its fresh, kinetic energy and felt rather like a staid, old show. Because of that I don’t mourn its cancellation too much, but it was still a breath of fresh air amongst CBS’s comedy line-up. B/B+

The Millers: Starring Will Arnett, Margo Martindale, and Jayma Mays and created and written by the creator of My Name is Earl and Raising Hope?! Again, sounds great on paper. And it might’ve been good/decent if it had been a single-camera show, unfortunately it was a multi-camera, laugh-track show, sucking away any chance this show had of being good. C

Mom: I gave this a try for Anna Farris and Allison Janney. Nope. However, the one good thing about The Millers and Mom is that Showtime is owned by CBS, so that probably had something to do with Janney and Beau Bridges (The Millers) showing up and doing great work on Showtime’s Masters of Sex. So there’s that. C-

We Are Men: Cancelled after 2 episodes, it wasn’t nearly as bad as the reviews indicated. Not very good either though. B-

Friends with Better Lives: I watched either 1 or 2 episodes of this, laugh track. No…just no. STOP WITH THE LAUGH TRACKS ALREADY.

The Tomorrow People: I watched half a season of this, and there’s some good stuff in this show, but there’s plenty of stupid-as-shit CW-y shit that ultimately dragged it down too much. B-/C+

The 100: Same as above, but even more thoroughly CW’d.

ABC
Resurrection: Utter bollocks. Skip it, watch the far, far, far, vastly superior, similarly-themed French show Les Revenants, which was easily one of my favorite shows of last year. C-/D

Agents of SHIELD: I did not anticipate this nearly as much as giddy comic fanboys, I was still disappointed. I stuck with it for half a season with plans to keep watching but relegating it to a background noise show, but when the time came I couldn’t be bothered. As much as people love Agent Coulson, Agent May was the stand-out for me, and I didn’t mind the Brit duo though I could see how people could be annoyed by them. Heck, even Agent Ward wasn’t terrible, the writing just never serviced any of these characters (or plots) very well. But fuck Skye. She’s so awful. A blackhole cesspool quicksand void sucking any trace of interest or likeability into it. The fight scenes were good though. B-/B/C+

As you can tell, I’m terribly indecisive when it comes to assigning these shows a firm grade.

*The Goldbergs: It took more than a handful of episodes, but it eventually starts to find its groove, and while not one of my Top 14 comedy shows of 2014 thusfar, it’s still a reliably entertaining 20 minutes (especially towards the end of the season). Wendi McLendon-Covey is a stand-out for me as “the original smother” Mrs. Goldberg, and Hayley Orrantia makes a character as stereotypical as the teenage girl pretty fun. B/B+

*Trophy Wife: It had the best comedy pilot, tied with Brookyln Nine-Nine. Too bad it never matched the heights and promise of that first episode. Like Agents of SHIELD, had it gotten rid of one character (the over-the-top and horribly irritable Jackie) it would’ve made 5-6 minutes of every episode a lot better. The writing is usually pretty good (if a bit inconsistent in quality), but it’s the actors who shine the brightest in Trophy Wife. Marcia Gay Harden, an actress best known for dramatic movie roles, segues into a comedic role (though not much of a stretch in a role playing the decidedly unhumorous, professional, type-A character) with aplomb, and Bailee Madison and Ryan Lee play the over-achieving daughter and goofy son really well. They have bright futures. The precocious Albert Tsai was a hoot and a half in the first episode but it quickly became just too much and over-the-top for me. Also, not enough Natalie Morales. B

Super Fun Night: What a colossal waste of Rebel Wilson’s talents and the post-Modern Family time slot. ABC has yet to find a suitable match for their #1 show. Times a tickin’ ABC, Modern Family’s days of providing a reliably large lead-in is counting down. D/D-

*Mixology: Almost good, almost. Clever at times, nowhere near as bad as the premise sounded but far from a home run B/B-

*Modern Family: In its 5th season and after 4 consecutive Emmys for Best Comedy series, this show is showing some of its age. You could get rid of a large number of the cast and I’d be okay. Cam & Mitch’s storylines increasingly rely on them sniping at each other and their insecurities or hiding something from each other (their adopted daughter Lily is always fantastic all the times forever always though). Sofia Vergara does not get enough credit, often written off as just a walking Latina trophy wife caricature. I could take or leave Jay, Manny has flatlined as a character since season 1. I love the entire Dunphy clan though. They could just make it about them and I’d be happy. Hell, they could jettison the entire cast save for Phil Dunphy and I’d be happy. Its quality has varied more than ever, with some downright mediocre episodes (never an out-and-out bad one though, even the mediocre ones have some funny lines/plots), but it can still rise to the occasion with sublime episodes like Las Vegas. While Modern Family haters probably begrudge it winning so many awards, I do think it shouldn’t nab a 5th consecutive Best Comedy Emmy (that should go to Parks and Rec, but Big Bang Theory probably has a good shot at it after its biggest season yet :/ ) A-

*The Taste: Top Chef shouldn’t have to worry about its place as the best cooking competition show, but dammit I still watched every episode of this and most likely will for its 3rd season.

Black Box: I watched one episode of this and damn if it wasn’t one of the longest 45 minutes of my life.

NBC
Believe: I can only imagine how good this would’ve been had Alfonso Cuarón (director of Gravity, Children of Men, one of the Harry Potter movies) stayed on with this show instead of only directing and co-writing the pilot.

Crisis: I watched/suffered through only 1 episode and it already felt way too fucking long after 10 minutes F

The Blacklist: It’s gotten strong reviews. James Spader stands a real chance at nabbing an Emmy nomination for Best Lead Actor in a Drama. It consistently draws high viewership and has played a key role in making NBC the #1 network in the important 18-49 demographic. meh Cookie-cutter procedural. Very little made me want to stay around after its 4-episode trial period, and I didn’t. B-/C+

About a Boy: I really wanted to like this show. I heard good things about it. I’ve found David Walton to be a likeable actor who gets stuck in a bunch of lame, quickly-cancelled romantic comedies. Minnie Driver and Al Madrigal were both selling points for me for their work on The Riches and The Daily Show respectively. Unfortunately, after 4 episodes, I’ve found it to be a fairly bland show. If anything, it makes me want to watch the 2002 film. C+

*Parks and Recreation: My #1 comedy for 2014 so far. I still think season 2-4 were the best of the show, but comparing seasons 2-4 to 5 and 6 is like saying 10 strips of bacon is better than 9 strips of bacon, you’re still getting a lot of goodness either way. [SPOILER ALERT]Getting rid of the 2 weakest characters midway through the season was an excellent choice, [/END SPOILER ALERT] though I’m unsure about the addition of Billy Eichner’s Craig. He looks to be a permanent addition to the cast for the final season (of only 13 episodes! 😦 ). While I hugely disliked him at first, thinking any of the other Eagletonian Parks employees would’ve been a better addition, his outbursts occasionally will elicit a laugh out of me. While there were occasionally plots that didn’t quite do it for me, the growth of the characters (Tom’s transition from public-sector employee to private-sector entrepreneur in particular) have been great and the season finale was one of the best episodes of the show, up there with the election episode (probably the best of the series) and wedding. A

*Community: A return to form for the show, though I didn’t quite love it as much as the hardcore Community fans. Still plenty to love, seemingly combining the unique, offbeat humor of seasons 1-3 with the more introspective, character-focused tone of season 4 (imo). While it’s sad it seems like it won’t get #sixseasonsandamovie, I’m okay with that. It’s had 2 season finales essentially serving as a series finale, I don’t think I’d like another season where they write the season finale as a potential final episode just in case they get cancelled. A-/A

The Michael J. Fox Show: I tried a handful of episodes. No…just…no. Much like Nathan Lane’s Modern Family character (Pepper), J. Fox is better used in The Good Wife (ESPECIALLY so in the case of Lane). D/D-

*Rosemary’s Baby: This certainly wasn’t a very good movie/miniseries, it wasn’t bad, it was just blah. Utterly forgettable, boring, unspectacular to the nth degree. Zoe Saldana does her best with the extremely bland material she’s given, but this 4-hour 2-night snoozefest makes watching paint dry seem like a heroin trip. D

Dracula: Seems like it partially tried to mimic the slower, broody tone of Hannibal with far less success. Still, not out and out terrible. C

*Hannibal: Holy fucking shit. I gave up on this show after a few episodes in its first season. Buuut for whatever reason I watched just 1 episode. And I saw something in that episode that made me watch just 1 more episode after that. And there was something in that episode that lead me to watching 1 more episode and so on and so forth until I ended up watching the whole first season. I still wasn’t that impressed, but the way the season ended I had to at least watch the premiere episode of season 2. And what a turnaround this show has experienced. While I found the show much, much too slow, I did admire its spectacular visuals, well-drawn characters, good acting, and just overall stylish fun, if only it had momentum plot-wise. Season 2 got rid of essentially all the boring and charged ahead, making this show appointment viewing. For the season’s last 3 episodes, it fell back into its molasses-speed slowness, with abstract sequences such as a teardrop becoming a sea with swirls of blood in it taking up minutes of time. Visually good, yes, but too many of them and it’s awfully boring. Still, I spent the last 10 minutes of the season 2 finale with my jaw dropped. So glad it’s getting a season 3 which could go in so. many. different. directions. It was neck-and-neck tied with The Good Wife as my #1 Top Drama of 2014 for much of its run, but when all is said and done with their respective seasons over, The Good Wife edges out Hannibal having only 1 meh episode to Hannibal’s 1 boring episode + 2 halves of 2 episodes being boring. As consolation prize, I’ll reward Hannibal the #1½ spot on my Top Drama Shows of 2014 list instead of outright ranking it #2. A/A-

*Saturday Night Live:

FOX
Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey Alright, I’m gonna alienate a lot of people here. I didn’t like Cosmos as much as most people, who absolutely luuuuuurved it. I tried 3 or 4 episodes, and I just couldn’t. My criticism of it being too boring will likely be met with condemnations accusing me of being an unsophisticated ignoramus. Hold on, I like me some 60 Minutes, VICE news and various PBS programs. I just didn’t like how they presented the information. Sure, they severely upped the special effects budget, but I didn’t like the science side of it. It felt very cursory, very superficial, a very surface-level explanation. I’d rather they focus on one topic and deeply probe it. I’m reminded of a 2-part episode of NOVA I watched way back when, it explained the 4 forces of physics (Gravity, Electromagnetism, Weak and Strong interaction) then spent the next episode exploring string theory. It was fascinating stuff and it spent the time to really explain each of the forces. And when they introduced a new force, they took a bit of time to explain how it relates to the prior force(s) (electromagnetism with gravity, or Weak with EM and Gravity for example). Cosmos sped through its topic, seemingly more focused on trying to impress upon the viewer how awe-struck they should be by so-and-so topic, or explaining the history of science through unneeded, and frankly, pretty goofy, animations. I just couldn’t care less. Science is totally capable of being interesting and entertaining in and of itself, it felt like Cosmos was trying very hard to pander to the science-adverse masses, and, in doing so, diluted their core heavily.

(For those interested, I believe the NOVA episodes was actually a 3-parter (not 2-parter) called The Elegant Universe, broken down into 3 episodes titled Einstein’s Dream, String’s the Thing, and Welcome to the 11th Dimension)

*Sleepy Hollow: One of the stand-outs of the crop of freshman shows for the 2013-14 season. I remember reading the premise (Ichabod Crane does battle with the headless horseman, goes into a coma, wakes up in present day and assists a local cop solving supernatural crimes. Oh, and did I mention the headless horseman is one of the 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse trying to bring the end of times?) and thinking it sounded utterly convoluted and was a textbook case of a show trying far too hard to do far too much.
How wrong I was. Get over the goofy premise and this show is simply a wonderfully fun show. Other shows try to scale great dramatic heights but this show is just a well-paced show with a fun adventure plot supported by an able cast. I’m tempted to give it an A, but I don’t know if it’s on the same level as The Good Wife or Hannibal, but on the other hand, I really can’t think of any bad things, plots, or characters from the show. If it receives a minus, it’s not due to any demerits on the show’s part, but the minus is simply earned relative to the other A-level dramas. A/A-

Almost Human: Almost good. It needs to go through a couple more drafts, better characters, more intrigue, better, attention-grabbing plots. Still, not terrible, just not memorable. Watch Sweden’s similarly-themed Real Humans for a better, more fleshed-out show about a future where robots have become as integrated into society as smartphones have today. C+

*24: Live Another Day Closer to the lousier latter seasons of the show than the heights of the show’s better seasons. It hasn’t reached the depths of the worst of season 8 (yet), but it’s definitely no season 5. Still, the quality seems to be evening out now. Best parts of the show: Mary Lynn Rajskub’s Chloe O’Brian will never get enough screentime in my opinion (hell, if they cast off Bauer and made her the show’s protagonist I’d totally be okay with that) and Lady Catheryn Stark shows her devious side. In the hands of a lesser actress, her character would’ve been a ham-handed, unoriginal villain, but she manages to breath deviousness into even her limpest dialogue.

Dads: The most offensive thing about this show is not the jokes, but the laugh track. The cast tried their best. D/D+

*Brooklyn Nine-Nine: I could write something very long about how solid the cast is and how the episodes balance them out well and how this show made me go from not seeing why he was so popular amongst my peers to liking Andy Samburg, but, to put it simply, it’s as good as you’d expect from two long-time writer-producers from Parks & Recreation. Whenever this show promotes itself as coming “from the producers and writers of Parks & Recreation,” it actually means and counts for something. A

New Girl: I watched the Super Bowl episode and have yet to understand why people like this show (apparently not very much anymore as its ratings have absolutely crashed since its first season)

*The Mindy Project: Even though its first season was very, very hit-and-miss, I stuck with it because, even if it wasn’t consistently funny, it was likeable. This becomes a bigger problem in season 2, and I’m almost disappointed it got renewed for a third season because I’ll feel obligated to watch it and most likely will. Mindy Kaling can write better and funnier than is evidenced by this show.

Rake: blah

Surviving Jack: Like the Goldbergs, but set in the 90s. I actually enjoy this show and between this and his guest appearances on Veep, Christopher Meloni has shown himself to be an able comedic actor (even if his comedic roles never stray too far into zany and stick more with the straight-man character).

Gang Related: Not terrible, it’s actually a summer show and it’s fairly decent for a summer show on a broadcast network. I’ll keep watching so long as it’s good enough, idk if it’s good enough for me to stick with it through its entire 13-episode run. It’s almost like a very, very watered-down version of the sublime/best cop show Southland.

*Raising Hope: An overlooked, underappreciated show that managed to be reliably and consistently funny throughout its 4-season run. A couple of off episodes here and there, but still filled with clever zingers and funny writing. I’ll miss ya Chance family A-

Enlisted: Didn’t like it nearly as much as its fans and critics did. The 3 leads were good, especially Chris Lowell and Parker Young.

Yeesh, 3600 words already and I haven’t even gotten to the cable stuff yet.

Cable
Alpha House & Betas: Amazon’s first forays into original programming were fruitful, the political Alpha House started off well/decently enough but really found its groove episode 3 onwards. Betas was shit for its first 3 episodes but grew from there on and by the end of the series I actually liked it better than Alpha House. It centers on a group of app developers living, struggling, and trying to grow their business in Silicon Valley. Sound familiar to a certain HBO show on air right now? It’s the standard by which I kept mentally comparing Silicon Valley and while it’s gotten closer and closer with each episode, I still prefer Betas. Too bad it got cancelled for a handful of (what looks to be) unspectacular new shows Amazon greenlit.

Helix (SyFy): Promising premise, nice to look at, but utterly, utterly stupid.

Shameless (Showtime): Flawless

Episodes: Doesn’t live up to its potential, but still always an enjoyable and amusing 20-25 minutes

I was gonna do this on quarterly basis but I fell really behind in my television watching, so I may do an update in summer/end of summer before my end of year list.
Top 14 Comedy Shows of 2014 (so far)………………………Top 14 Drama Shows of 2014 (so far)
1. Parks & Recreation (NBC)………………………………………1. The Good Wife (CBS)
2. Shameless (Showtime)…………………………………………..1½. Hannibal (NBC)
3. The Colbert Report (Comedy Central)…………………………..3. Game of Thrones (HBO)*
4. Veep (HBO)……………………………………………………….3. Bates Motel (A&E)
5. Brooklyn Nine-Nine (FOX)………………………………………..5. True Detective (HBO)
6. Community (NBC)…………………………………………………5. House of Cards (Netflix)
6. Modern Family (ABC)…………………………………………….7. Vice (HBO)**
8. Archer (FX)………………………………………………………..etc:
9. The Soup (E!)………………………………………………………-The Americans (FX)
10. Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (HBO)……………………..-Justified (FX)
11. The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (Comedy Central)
12. Raising Hope (FOX)
13. Pramface (BBC three)
14. Episodes (Showtime)

*While this list is exclusive to those series that have wrapped up its season (or are very close to it), I allowed an exception in Game of Thrones’s case as it’s a few episodes shy of its season finale and its sheer quality. Still, I am docking it for not completing its season. Put away your pitchforks, I imagine it puts up a formidable challenge for the top ranks once it completes is season (still, The Good Wife was very, very good this season. And admittedly, with this being the first season I watched and binged upon, it does have a bit of a new-show smell leg up)
** Vice is a documentary/news show. I do not have a news/documentary category. In its stories, it showcases real human drama however, so under those auspices, I’m including it on this list. Deal with it.
***Made this list before finishing Silicon Valley