Upfronts Preview Pt. 2: Shaping Up Television Pilot Season 2014

This is the second part of my preview of upfronts, the mid-May week when broadcast networks present their upcoming television schedules to advertisers in NYC, hoping to pique their interests with their new and returning shows so that they’ll buy airtime for commercials. This is when the fates of pretty much all your favorite shows will be revealed (renewed or canceled), which I went over here.

For the uninitiated, pilot season is the late-Winter-to-Spring scramble when broadcast networks (CBS, NBC, FOX, ABC, CW) sift through their pilots (first episode) to decide which ones to order to series. There’s usually a glut of pilots to go through, the vast majority of which never get seen by the general audience. Some will get retooled in later years for the same or different networks, but that is the rare exception.

Based on the descriptions, cast, and crew of the pilots under consideration, here’s the pilots that I think sound the best, or could fit or benefit their respective networks the most. OF COURSE just judging by the descriptions, cast, and crew without having seen the actual pilot is going into this process semi-blind. Who would’ve thought “a modern-day supernatural thriller based on the legend of Ichabod Crane and Sleepy Hollow” involving time travel and connecting the headless horseman to the four horsemen of the Apocalypse would’ve ended up so entertaining? Or that “a thriller about an ex-FBI agent, Ryan Hardy (Kevin Bacon) leading the search to catch a diabolical serial killer, Joe Carroll (James Purefoy), who created a cult of serial killers” would end up such a fucking bollocky mess.

But, being the TV junkie that I am, here’s my thoughts on the pilots. I am not including any pilots already picked up to series such as Tina Fey’s Cabot College at FOX or Tina Fey’s Ellie Kemper-starring Tooken at NBC (don’t get your hopes up, Fey doesn’t appear in front of the camera in either series). You can view a (far) more extensive list here.

In the last part of my upfronts preview next week, I will opine about how the networks should schedule their 2014-15 television season to plug ratings gaps and strengthen their hands. Backseat-executive-ing all the way.

ABC
ABC heads into upfronts as the 4th-place network, sure they’ve got big hits on their hands with Modern Family, Scandal, Shark Tank, and a still-strong Grey’s Anatomy, but the rest of their schedule is in shambles, mediocre at best. None of their new shows in 2013-14 really broke out (they really weren’t bad at all though), so they’ll need to stock up on a lot of replacements.
•Comedy
Selfie
The modern take on My Fair Lady is inspired by the musical and tells the story of a self-obsessed 20-something woman (Karen Gillan of Doctor Who fame) who is more concerned with “likes” than being liked. After suffering a public and humiliating breakup, she becomes the subject of a viral video and suddenly has more social media “followers” than she ever imagined — but for all the wrong reasons. She then enlists the help of a marketing expert at her company to help repair her tarnished image.
This one could really go either way, it could be a fun, clever comedy, or end up being all kinds of stupid. Gillan’s proven she can be decent/good at comedy with a stint on NTSF:SD:SUV::, I’m willing to try this out, even if I hate the character Amy Pond.

Strange Calls
Logline: Based on the Australian series, the U.S. version centers on a good-hearted but somewhat inept Boston cop who pulls night duty on Nantucket island, where he works from a creaky lighthouse. Strange, inexplicable phenomena start happening with frequency, so he teams with an eccentric lighthouse keeper — who is also the local paranormal authority — to deal with the strange calls that come into the lighthouse station.
I actually watched 3 episodes of this on hulu, and while it didn’t keep me entertained for its 30-minute runtimes, I found it charming and likeable enough and thought, hey, this could actually work as an American adaptation. Given that this doesn’t really have any big names behind it, and was rolled over from 2012’s pilot season, I’m not feeling optimistic. They have to handle the quirkiness of this show just right (Feels like a good fit for Rob Thomas’s (Veronica Mars, Party Down) sensibility), or else it’ll just be annoying and plodding.

Keep It Together
Logline: The semi-autobiographical comedy is based on Kevin Hart’s life and stand-up act and takes a candid look at the post-divorce life of a couple trying to forge a friendship for the sake of their kids, despite their differences.
I don’t really care about this, but Kevin Hart is a rising star with proven draw at the box office, banking on him to translate some of those fans to viewers is good gamble with few foreseeable downsides for ABC.

•Drama
Agatha
Logline: A character-driven procedural centering on a former convict-turned-big-city criminologist who is brought in to help local police crack a case involving a perplexing disappearance. The chief detective she’s been hired to help is her father — and they haven’t spoken in 15 years.
Could work

American Crime
Logline: Examines the personal lives of the players involved in a racially charged trial as their worlds are turned upside down.
Felicity Huffman is in this, I’m game

Clementine
Logline: Centers on a habitual criminal (Sarah Snook) who digs into the mystery of her origins after she becomes the target of a group of zealots who fear she possesses latent supernatural abilities that she will one day harness for either profound good or monstrous evil.
This actually sounds fun, then again, so did Park Avenue 666, it’s all in the execution (and script, I suppose).

Forever
Logline: The drama revolves around New York City’s best medical examiner Dr. Henry Morgan (Ringer’s Ioan Gruffudd), who studies the dead for a reason — he is immortal. With the help of Detective Jo Martinez, the layers will be peeled back on Henry’s colorful and long life through the cases.
Ehhhhhhh could work

How to Get Away With Murder
Logline: A sexy, suspense-driven legal thriller that centers on ambitious law students and their brilliant and mysterious criminal defense professor who become entangled in a murder plot that could rock their entire university and change the course of their lives.
Viola Davis is in this, I see her more as a serious dramatic movie actress, if she’s dipping her toe into television I want to see what caught her eye

Sea of Fire
Logline: Based on Dutch format Vuurzee, the drama centers on three teenage girls in a small town who star in a pornographic film and the effect it has on their families. It leads to a disappearance, a murder and host of other secrets boiling under the surface.
Cast: Jennifer Carpenter, Jack Davenport (Smash), Kier Gilchrist
I am intrigued, with a concept like that it could be a solid dramatic show, then again it’s on network television so the odds are against it

The Visitors
Logline: The drama is a race against the clock to defeat an unseen alien enemy out to destroy the world using the Earth’s most precious resource: children.
Keep trying with the sci-fi shows ABC, you’ll eventually find your next Lost, maybe

Warriors
Logline: Inspired by the state-of-the-art Walter Reed Military Medical Center, the drama follows the best and brightest of active duty military doctors and nurses as they practice trailblazing medicine on critically wounded warriors returning home from Afghanistan, on military families and veterans as well as administering to Washington’s government elite.
Could work as a serious quality drama show. Also Morena Baccarin is in it, and we all need to get our fix of Mrs. Brody now that she’s off Homeland

CBS
CBS has long been a dominant force in ratings, both in the all-important 18-49 demographic and especially so when it comes to total viewers. Shifting around some of its comedies and expanding Thursdays to 2-hours has resulted in mixed results, with Monday showing real weakness. CBS never really needs to pick up as many pilots as its competitors since they have so many hits on their hands, but with their #2 comedy (How I Met Your Mother) ending, and a handful of mediocrely-rated comedies to fill 4 comedy hours, they may need to stock up a bit more than in years past.
•Comedy
How I Met Your Dad
Logline: In the spirit of How I Met Your Mother, it tells the story from a female point of view. A brand-new story with new characters and a new voice at its center.
Honestly, CBS doesn’t have much to lose in at least trying this one out. It’ll get a number of viewers tuning in for curiosity’s sake, whether or not it’s good (and establishes itself as more than just a HIMYM carbon-copy knock-off) will determine how many more episodes those viewers stay on for. Then again the universally-reviled HIMYM series finale probably burned a lot of any goodwill from fans.

More Time With Family
Logline: Centers on a husband and father who is making a career change in order to spend more time with his family.
With Alyson Hannigan as a star and Matt Damon and Ben Affleck as producers (for whatever reason…) this one oughtta get a series pick-up

•Drama
CSI spinoff/NCIS: New Orleans
It’s been about a season now with ONLY one CSI on air so I figure CBS would want to milk its most lucrative franchises just a bit more. One of the above spin-offs could possibly get a shot

Scorpion
Logline: Based on the life of William O’Brien, the drama revolves around an eccentric genius and his international network of super-geniuses who form the last line of defense against the complex threats of the modern age.
Alex Kurtzman and Roberto Orci have had a hand in a ton of recent film and television hits: Star Trek, Transformers 3, Amazing Spider-Man 2 & 3, Sleepy Hollow, Fringe. I’d imagine CBS would want to start a relationship with the two

FOX
Fox axed X-Factor and with American Idol hitting lows in the rating, FOX has a lot more room on its schedule for new shows, which probably explains why Mindy Project got renewed, they really need shows to fill a lot of space.
•Comedy
Dead Boss
Logline: Based on the British series created by Sharon Horgan and Holly Walsh, Dead Boss is a comedic mystery that finds overachiever Helen Stephens (30 Rock’s Jane Krakowski) wrongfully convicted of murdering her boss and forced to rely on her train wreck of a sister to prove her innocence.
JANE KRAKOWSKI BACK ON TV! SAY NO MORE! (The premise also seems like it could be a hoot, especially in the hands of Krakowski. Oh please don’t suck, please don’t suck please don’t suck.)

Fatrick
Logline: Centers on Patrick, a 30-something man who realizes that his life isn’t quite where it should be. The former fat kid is forced to face the damage caused by years of being “Fatrick” — a chubby little kid just trying to survive. The comedy will take place both in the past — showing “Fatrick” at school and at home — as well as in the present.
Could work, could suck

•Drama
Red Band Society
Logline: Based on the acclaimed Spanish series Polseres Vermelles, the dark comedy focuses on the daily lives of a group of teenagers living in a hospital who become unlikely friends. The depth of the unexpected friendships allows them to survive the challenges of growing up under such intense circumstances.
Could work. Stars Oscar-winner Octavia Spencer. It doesn’t sound very broad, more like something you’d see on Showtime or HBO, which intrigues me

NBC
Contrary to popular perception, NBC is #1 in the ratings right now, sure its Thursdays are miserable, but on the strength of The Voice, NFL Sundays from the fall, and the Blacklist, NBC is at the top of the pack right now. Still, Thursdays are a bloodbath for NBC and they’ve yet to figure out non-football Sunday programming.
•Comedy
Lifesaver
Logline: The comedy asks the question: How you get rid of the most maddening person in the world after he’s given you a kidney? It’s described as an odd couple comedy in which two polar opposites become inextricably linked.
Could work, maybe…..maybe. Possibly.

Mission Control
Logline: A workplace ensemble comedy in the tone of Anchorman that is set in 1962 and examines what happens when a strong woman (Krysten Ritter) butts heads with a macho astronaut (The Mindy Project’s Tommy Dewey) in the race to land on the moon.
Kind of interesting premise, could work. Also Tommy Dewey was solid in Mindy Project

•Drama
Constantine
Logline: Based on DC Comics’ Hellblazer graphic novels, the drama centers on master of the occult John Constantine (Matt Ryan), based on the “Hellblazer” graphic novels. Constantine is struggling with his faith as he is haunted by the sins of his past but is suddenly thrust into the role of defending humanity from the gathering forces of darkness.

Allegiance
Logline: Based on the Israeli format The Gordin Cell, the drama is a thriller that revolves around the O’Connor family and their son, Alex (Gavin Stenhouse), a decorated American war hero and CIA analyst who is a true patriot and loves his country and family. Unbeknown to him, both of his parents and sister are part of a dormant Russian sleeper cell that has just been reactivated.
Spy show? I’m game (at least for two episodes, more if it’s any good

Babylon Fields
Logline: The dead are rising in Babylon, N.Y., with lives regained, old wounds reopened and families are restored — for better or worse. The newly regenerated bodies are healing faster and growing stronger, prompting discussion that this might be the next step in human evolution.
Would be a lot more interested about this show except
a) it sounds like ABC’s recent Sunday show Resurrection, which sucked a bag of d’s
b) It was originally developed for CBS all the way back in 2007, which inspire much confidence in its quality that it was left on the shelf for that long

CW
They usually have one show per season I give a try, they’ve yet to have a show I stick with throughout the season however.
•Drama
iZombie
Logline: The supernatural crime procedural, based on the DC Comics title of the same name, centers on a medical student-turned-zombie who takes a job in the Coroner’s Office in order to gain access to the brains she must reluctantly eat so that she can maintain her humanity. However, with every brain she eats, she inherits the corpse’s memories. With the help of her medical examiner boss and a police detective, she solves homicide cases in order to quiet the disturbing voices in her head.
95% of the reason I’m excited about this show is that it comes from Rob Thomas aka creator of the sublime Veronica Mars and Party Down.

The Messengers
Logline: When a mysterious object crashes down to Earth, a group of seemingly unconnected strangers die from the energy pulse, but then awaken to learn that they have been deemed responsible for preventing the impending apocalypse.
I’ll give it a shot but I don’t expect much after they CW’d The Tomorrow People